There’s nothing new about Yoshi’s New Island

U-G-L-Y, you ain’t got no alibi

Have you played Yoshi’s Island? Have you played Yoshi’s Island DS?

Yoshi’s New Island is just like them. Only with a poop art style. And stiff animation. And giant eggs.

Back when the game was revealed months ago, I thought the graphics looked really bad. Seeing them up close has done nothing to change my mind. I get that Nintendo wanted to recreate the children’s coloring book design of the SNES original, but it just doesn’t work with 3D models. Why not go with hand-drawn sprites instead?

But anyway, all your abilities are unchanged from what you could do before. Swallow enemies to create a supply of eggs then launch the eggs at other enemies via aiming reticule. If you get hit, Baby Mario will fly away in a bubble, and you must recapture him before time runs out. You can add more seconds to the baby timer by collecting stars, and you can also collect flowers and red coins to achieve 100% level completion.

The only “new” thing is that you can swallow giant enemies to pass proportionally giant eggs through your colon (OUCH!). These super eggs can bust through pipes and otherwise indestructible blocks in order to open up new paths or collect hidden items.

And that’s it. That’s Yoshi’s New Island. It comes out in 2014. Whoop-de-derp.

Tony Ponce