Pippi Longstocking game coming to Nintendo DS

Pippi Longstocking is making her shocking return to relevance with a new Nintendo DS game. She appears to be more terrifying than when she was last seen in the nineties, though. She now seems to look like the last thing very bad people might see when they die. 

I am led to believe this will be a prequel where we learn about the Pippi before she became the Longstocking. She’ll get beaten up, cut to bits, nearly drowned, and begin her adventure by murdering a would-be sex attacker. The player will want to protect her, because of emotions.

She is the strongest girl in the world. And in her heart. Emotions.