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Welcome back to Comments of the Week where your host, the ever-vigilant Dreamweaver, is here to bring you some of the best comments — said by community members such as yourselves — from last week!
Wait, LAST week? Alright, you got me! Due to a wonky schedule, I haven’t been able to keep up, so you’re just now getting the edition that you should’ve gotten last week this week, and the edition that you’re supposed to be getting this week — which was last week’s comments — is hopefully coming this week… unless things come up and I’ll have to push last week’s into next week and this week’s into the week after next. Ugh, it also doesn’t help that I number them by editions and not by dates, so hopefully I won’t forget that this week is number 59, 60 is the one that’s supposed to be up and running, and 61 is what I’m supposed to be working on this week.
Confused? Don’t be! All YOU need to know is that — as always — the comments of this week, which is the comments from two weeks ago that was supposed to be posted last week, is separated into three categories such as…
TRUTH: in Texas, a man not only bit off the head of a corral snake that bit him, but he even used his body as a tourniquet.
LOL: there’s no reason to laugh, that’s fucking badass!
WUT?: was his name John Doe?
If you want even more confusion, you can check out last week’s Comments of the Week, which was based on the comments said the week before, that was also done in the same week that I posted the two week before last’s Comments of the Week.
Dreamweaver: Whatever happened to that guy, anyway?
Dreamweaver: It burns to even LOOK at it!
From REVIEW: ATTRACTIO
Dreamweaver: From a man named Tio.
Dreamweaver: It’s like cheating on a test!
Dreamweaver: Aren’t we all procrastinating the end?
Dreamweaver: It’s like the more destructive version of Pee-wee’s Playhouse.
Dreamweaver: At least he was kind enough to say “probably.”
Dreamweaver: Couch cushions? More like couch “shush-ions”!
Dreamweaver: I know this from experience!
Dreamweaver: I’m not good with math, but I’m pretty 74% sure he’s right. I’m also 62% sure he’s left.
Dreamweaver: I’d buy that off the used market!
Dreamweaver: Don’t Street Fight the feeling.
Dreamweaver: You’ll need to go to Holme’s House for the rest.
Dreamweaver: It would make then 20% cooler in my opinion.
Yes, that was a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic reference. I’m totally bitter that our DirecTV subscription doesn’t have Discovery Family Channel. 🙁
Dreamweaver: I did. I did warn him.
Dreamweaver: Quick, staring contest! You, me, now!
Dreamweaver: I wish I spoke eagle.
Dreamweaver: …Fuck, I failed quantum physics.
Dreamweaver: Well, if it’s Japanese, you read from right to left.
Dreamweaver: Gosh darn it.
Dreamweaver: They also sell Bayonetta 2. Coincidence? Probably.
Dreamweaver: Better than being despised.
Dreamweaver: But neither are the father.
*zips pants* Other’s people sperm make good lubricants.
Dreamweaver: Wait… does this mean your aunt’s single?
Dreamweaver: Who won?
Dreamweaver: Still sounds like one of my sex dreams to me.
Dreamweaver: Now that’s a Happy Meal I don’t mind springing for. With my penis.
Dreamweaver: Like the ones on your shoulder.
Dreamweaver: This was a pleasant turn of events.
Dreamweaver: They hope you’ll headbang so hard, you’ll forget why you called.
Dreamweaver: Guess I’ll have to take over. *maximizes porn tab*
And that’s it for this edition! Don’t forget to like and subscribe to — ah, I’m just kidding! This is Destructoid! Leave your faps below!