Xbox Live Artist of the Month: Good Charlotte *Nex stabs himself in the ear*

Talk Xbox has a copy of a press release that Microsoft pushed out recently proclaiming Good Charlotte the “Xbox Live Artist of the Month”. From the press release:

Fronted by identical twin brothers Benji and Joel Madden, Good Charlotte, which has already released three albums and is gearing up to debut its fourth, has been announced as February’s Xbox Live® Artist of the Month. Formed in 1996, the band, most known for 2002’s triple platinum “The Young and the Hopeless” and 2004’s subsequent million-selling album, “The Chronicle of Life and Death,” also includes friends Billy Martin and Paul Thomas.

Wow. 

You have to imagine that the hands of whatever PR drone they cajoled into typing that were immediately seized by Satan as the ultimate instruments of His Wicked Ways. In fact, if you read that passage aloud, recorded it, and played it backwards, you’d hear the voice of Major Nelson telling you to kill your family and eat their bones.

I’ll admit that I’m what most would call “an elitist hipster jagoff”, but I think we can all agree that whoever is in charge of selecting the “Xbox Live Artist of the Month” is either a 14 year old girl or is tragically trapped within the dark, faux-angsty corridors of a Hot Topic. If only I was in a jovial mood, I could pitch a hilarious sitcom based on that idea; it’s Gilligan’s Island meets The Crow!

Hit the jump for the full release and more of the rage that’s bubbling up inside of me. 

Fronted by identical twin brothers Benji and Joel Madden, Good Charlotte, which has already released three albums and is gearing up to debut its fourth, has been announced as February’s Xbox Live® Artist of the Month. Formed in 1996, the band, most known for 2002’s triple platinum “The Young and the Hopeless” and 2004’s subsequent million-selling album, “The Chronicle of Life and Death,” also includes friends Billy Martin and Paul Thomas.

Beginning Feb. 1, Xbox Live members can download exclusive Good Charlotte content from Xbox Live Marketplace to their Xbox 360™ console, including free videos from the upcoming album “Good Morning Revival,” which is set to be released March 27. Videos for their single “The River,” which features M. Shadows and Synyster Gates, and for “Keep Your Hands Off My Girl” will be available free on Xbox Live Marketplace, and select Xbox Live Gold members will also have the opportunity to go head-to-head with the band in “Gears of War” during their 90-minute Xbox Live Game with Fame session.

Fans who are interested in gaming against Good Charlotte can log on to https://goodcharlottemusic.com/xbox to sign up.

From the opening sounds of Good Charlotte’s fourth album “Good Morning Revival” — which launches with an artful, innovative sound collage that slides into the irresistible “Misery” — it is apparent that the world-famous band, which has sold more than 9 million albums, has revolutionized its sound for 2007. In addition, by the time the optimistic parting shot “March On” rolls around, it is evident that this vibrant, adventurous and unexpected rock album has redefined the group.

The only thing unexpected about this “rock” album is that these fuckasses still have careers. Shouldn’t Lemmy have kicked their dicks in the moment one of them started dating Hillary Duff? That’s gotta be against the Rock Handbook.

I know that Microsoft has to appeal to all of those kids out there who wouldn’t know the MC5 if Wayne Kramer was banging their strung-out mom, but do they have to try to aim for the lowest common denominator?

I tell you what, Microsoft, this one was your one fuck up. You don’t get another, ok? From now on, you have to pick bands that I’ve never even heard of, and they all have to have at least one cello player. That’s the only way you’re ever gonna get your cred back.

Otherwise, don’t bother coming by my place to pick up your copies of Vice. You won’t need them anymore.

Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.