Yes, even mine
I usually trawl through various Reddit forums and friendsā brains for my column ideas, and as much as I try to avoid it, there is one question that floats up above all the rest ā what the fuck am I supposed to do with my gamer boyfriend?
No really, the people want to know. āAm I (25F) asking my gamer BF (24M) for too much [by asking him to spend time with me]?ā āEvery time we play together, [my boyfriend] legit drives me crazy.ā āIn the middle of getting turned inside out, but his friend called and said get on [the server].ā
Problems with the gamer boyfriend range from mild (he spends too much time gaming, something that could be fixed with an honest conversation) to severe (he gets frighteningly angry during a bad game, he reveals his deeply sown misogyny whenever you ask a simple gaming question), but regardless of the problem, to truly understand the Gaming Boyfriend, we need to know where he came from.
Over time, the idea of the male gamer encompassed all the worst qualities of manhood, like territorialism and brutality, a public perception that devastating events like 1999ās Columbine shooting and 2014ās Gamergate only reinforced. Now, although āgamerā has opened up to a much more inclusive term, āgamer guyā still has the connotation of slimy, emotionally stunted, momās basement-dweller, a fairly damning categorization for guys looking to date, let alone become someoneās boyfriend.
And so, this is the story of the Gamer Boyfriend, who shot up a pixel river and drowned the whole World Wide Web. As difficult as it can be to accept, social expectation and historical context helps sculpt who we are and what we become. Thatās why some gamer boyfriends are splotched with the mud of gamer history, always male and misunderstood by the general public. If they arenāt too careful, boyfriends can yank their partners down on the hard ground with them, creating a fragile imprint, an easily burst relationship.
But of course, every relationship is a two-way street. Everyone should feel content to share what they want and need with a partner; if you donāt, regardless of who you are and how many video games you play, it might be time to reevaluate your relationship.
So, know this, gamer boyfriends ā an unhappy relationship is rarely your fault alone. But you could at least walk her through her first game of League, couldnāt you?
Published: Oct 7, 2021 02:30 pm