Steaming turd tossing in the Crystal Bearers ESRB-nounced

Everything may seem serene in the above video, but Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers promises to be quite “nasty“. According to the ESRB, The Crystal Bearers will include “damn”, “hell”, “bikinis that expose deep cleavage”, “telekinetic powers to throw people off cliffs”, “a goblin samurai holding a sake-shaped bottle (who) appears to be drunk”, “steaming manure”, “You were peeping?!” and “How icky of you to watch girls changing!”

Any game that takes the premise of Hancock, puts it in the Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles universe, then releases itself on f*cking Kwanzaa has my utmost respect. Add skeletons on motorcycles, break-dance fighting, and now psychic turd flinging, and you have something unlike any other game out there. Even if The Crystal Bearers completely sucks, I’ll still want it for the novelty alone.

Still not convinced? Then hit the jump to see a group of levitating moogles get their collective-crotch grabbed. 

Kwanzaa can’t come soon enough…

[via Siliconera

Jonathan Holmes
"Where do dreams end and reality begin? Videogames, I suppose."- Gainax, FLCL Vol. 1 "The beach, the trees, even the clouds in the sky... everything is build from little tiny pieces of stuff. Just like in a Gameboy game... a nice tight little world... and all its inhabitants... made out of little building blocks... Why can't these little pixels be the building blocks for love..? For loss... for understanding"- James Kochalka, Reinventing Everything part 1 "I wonder if James Kolchalka has played Mother 3 yet?" Jonathan Holmes