Killzone 2 ‘mobile training centers’ touring the UK

If you’re looking forward to Killzone 2 but are terrified that you will suck and everybody will laugh at you for being gay, don’t panic! Sony has foreseen accusations of homoerotic indulgence and is stemming the flow of suckage by providing “mobile training centers” in select locations around the United Kingdom. Because Sony HATES gay people.

“Come face-to-face with the brutal Helghast at the Killzone 2 Mobile Training Centre,” claim the marketing monkeys. “As a skilled member of an ISA squad, you’ll find yourself in the middle of the desperate conflict. Can you survive the Helghast assault and halt the march towards all-out war? Or will you end up being just another faceless casualty in an unmarked grave?

“If you’re over 18 and think you have what it takes, join us at the Killzone 2 Mobile Training Centre for briefings, training – and ultimately battle. Coming soon to Brighton, Birmingham and Manchester.”

The worrying thing about this “training center” is that nowhere in the above description do they say that gameplay will be involved. You are promised all-out war and unmarked graves, but Sony does not specifically say that they won’t actually be shooting people in the head. If any of our UK readers are intent on checking this out, be warned that Sony might be forcing you into armed combat to fight for your lives in some sort of sick death carnival.

Sony have had stranger marketing ideas than that in the past, so be careful.

Jim Sterling