Grand Theft Box Office, Sessler’s take on an old Hollywood’s tale

During the course of this week’s episode of Sessler’s Soapbox, the ever suave, yet somewhat neurotic G4 host takes on the controversial subject of release dates for popular games — and their star killing properties. He may be much calmer than usual, but that doesn’t seem to hinder his ability to navigate through the BS that (some people would like us to believe for an instant) pushing back Grand Theft Auto IV by a week will save Hollywood from the embarrassment of having the game deep-six the debut of Iron Man at the box office.

So what exactly is the logic behind this lapse of judgment? Well, according to “someone,” history has proven this sentiment to be a universal law of nature already. As amazing as it sounds, Halo 3’s release date might have been solely responsible for defeating the powerhouse that should’ve been The Heartbreak Kid. Yes, it saddens me as well to know that in the processing of “finishing the fight against the fictional Covenant,” Master Chief unknowingly destroyed the lives of real innocents. War is indeed Hell, and collateral damage is a bitch. My bleeding heart goes out to Ben Stiller and the crew. They never had a chance. As for the fate of the alcohol-infested tin can? Something tells me that he’s not even going to be aware of the GTA onslaught.