Do-do-do-don’t make another Chipmunks sequel, please

The screenshots in the gallery below exist for one purpose and one purpose alone: To give me justification for ranting about the existence of a sequel to the 2007 cinematic re-imagining, Alvin and the Chipmunks.

I consider it a blessing that I’m so woefully unaware of what’s happening in the world around me that it took the release of screenshots for me to discover the awful truth. I’m sure that my parents probably felt in a similar manner when the rodents were updated to appeal to the sophisticated tastes of children in the 1980’s, but all they had to deal with were some crappy sunglasses on Alvin. This CG crap that they’re putting out and calling “Chipmunks” is a disgrace.

I’m willing to wager that the most entertaining aspect of this new film will be the title, Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. My hopes are that high. Honestly, film executives make me want to hit them over the nose with a newspaper like a misbehaving dog sometimes.

Yes, there is a game coming out to support said motion picture. Odds are that it’s going to be one smokin’ hot property, yessir. Because nothing is going to make me want to play a videogame more than raping my childhood. See screenshots for the Wii version below.

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Conrad Zimmerman
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