Destructoid’s games of the week for 07/08/07: I’m not Nex edition!

Yes, it is I, Hamza! Nex dislocated his spine during his Carnival Cruise vacation. He was in a heated shuffleboarding match with zombie Winston Churchill, zombie Adolf Hitler and zombie Franklin Roosevelt. Zombie Franklin Roosevelt, or ZFR for short, decided to use his magic powers and casted a level 6 polio disease on Nex. Since ZFR was a zombie, his spell got all screwy and instead attacked Nex’s spine. Nex was then taken to the hospital … Also, Zombie Churchill won the shuffleboard match. 
Nex called me from his hospital bed later that day and begged me to cover him on the games of the week post. I told him I wasn’t ready for such greatness. Nex scoffed and said, “I will teach you everything I know.” 

So with that, Nex turned on the music montage scene from Scarface and our training began. 10 hours later, Nex felt I was ready to dance in the school play. As I walked up on stage, I felt a nervous chill in my healthy spine. The curtains opened up, and there were like a bazillion people in the audience. Then a Lakitu comes up to me and places his mic to my face.

Forgetting everything Nex thought me, I freeze and am only able to utter two words:


Nex then proceeds to shoot himself in the head.

While me and Nex were rehearsing for the Broadway musical, here is what everyone else was playing. 

This week I’ve spent a ton of time finally playing through Pokemon Diamond. I remember how much affection I had for the older titles, and it’s not that that sentiment is gone (How could it be; Diamond is the epitome of rehash), it’s just that I think my tastes have changed since the first generation of Poke-titles.

Oh, and the lack of a Charmander is a f*cking travesty. No damn dirty ape can compare to a bipedal newt with a flamethrower for a mouth.

Jim Sterling:
Good week had for me. I’m fully submerged in Overlord right now, which is pleasant because it’s been a long damn time since I’ve found myself so utterly engrossed in a title. It’s getting mixed reviews, but I adore the damn thing. So long as you go in expecting a light puzzle/strategy affair, with a sprinkle of action, then it’s a heck of a lot of fun. I also picked up Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition which is … well, it’s RE4 … but a Wii edition. There ya go.

Topher -Hushgush- Cantler:
Missle Command, Galaga, and Aegis Wing on XBLA, and Sword of Mana for GBA. I also got to check out Super Stardust HD for PS3 yesterday, and I had a lot of fun playing that. Not enough to make me want a PS3, but still awesome.

David Houghton:
More SNES dabblings for me again this week, mostly consisting of Castlevania: Dracula X, along with some Guitar Hero II and a bit of shooting dinosaurs in the eye in Tomb Raider: Anniversary Edition. The controls and camera are still a bit sticky, and Lara’s still a bit lurchy, but once you adapt to that, it’s not bad at all.

Cakemania. I hate to admit that even with my sexy new Wii in the house, I’ve been addicted to a game that was originally a Yahoo download game. How bad am I?

I’m also trying to finish Touch Detective and I tried out 3D Ultra Mini Golf Adventures and Band of Bugs.

Stardust HD in a big way. I haven’t had this much fun with a closed area shooter since Asteroids. A lot of people said its a Geometry Wars rip but the weapon system and leveling make it so much more. I also just got introduced to Secret of Evermore by Colette and am all about leveling mah puppies. 

Ron C*ck-a-doodle-do Workman:
Anything with C*ck in it. Gay Rave on Stickam has been fun. Im a level 14 now. I also played “Banning WiiSucks for life” Its not that good but everyone keeps talking about it. I love the Dtoid Army. You make sunshine and rainbows fly out of my ass. Haley constantly sends me pictures of his ass acne. Please help. Other than that, Ash got me on teh Halo‘s for a bit which I made her teh nub. I think. Im not even sure what that means really.

Believe it or not, Pac-Man World 3, and of course, The Darkness. After getting the greenlight from Sterling, I ran out and picked up a fresh copy of Overlord. So far I’ve only been evil for one level, but I hope to spend some real quality time with it soon. Something tells me that the whole evil Pikmin thing is going to grow on me.

Nick Chester:
With E3 coming up, things have been out of control busy. Still, I managed to pick up a few new games this week, and have been playing some oldies sitting in my pile.

I started playing Ninja Gaiden Sigma this morning and it’s exactly how I remember it on the Xbox — hard and beautiful, kinda like my … never mind. It looks really great in 1080, that’s for sure. One game that doesn’t look as good on my TV is Resident Evil 4 Wii Edition, which is pretty great, despite the small control learning curve. Shivering Isles (360) is as weird as I remember it, and that’s a very good thing.

Also playing: Bully, Super Stardust HD, Pac-Man Championship Edition (a lot), and the XBLA Prince of Persia remake.

Aaron Linde:
I broke down last week and bought something I’ve always wanted: a Wavebird. Now that I don’t have to set my Wii on the floor so the controller can reach the couch (yay laziness), my GameCubin‘ has reached a new level, with new pick-ups F-Zero GX and Metroid Prime 2 leading the way. Good to catch up on the stuff that I never really bothered to pursue when I was, y’know, gainfully employed.

Dick McVengeance:
Oh sh*t, I write for this site, don’t I? I guess that’s why I keep getting video games. Goozex has been supplying me with Vagrant Story and Mercenaries, which will probably sit on my shelf for way too long. Eidos sent me Nervous Brickdown, which is essentially 135 levels of Breakout y’know, that game that you played when the Internet was blocked on the school computers? So, which am I playing? You guessed it — Nervous Brickdown.

Alex Dyson Ryan:
Due to a rather rousing discussion of RPGs on RFGO!, I’ve decided to play through the Phantasy Star series again. Right now I’m on Phantasy Star 1, so the road to my completion is going to be a long one.

Leigh Alexander:
BIG UPS TO PHANTASY STAR. Alex, how are you playin‘ em? Emu or well-preserved console?

As usual, I’m Harvest Moon. I can’t let a minute of still time go by without doing some kind of OCD time-wasting activity in mines. I’m still not married in HMDS because I’m too damn indecisive, and I want to max out all the ladies’ hearts before I make up my mind. Heartbreaker, dream-maker, one of you lucky ladies gonna have my babies. Yeah. And RE4, and occasional dicking around in God and Titan modes on God of War II. All game purchases have been temporarily frozen as we’re saving every red sent of our pathetically stressed NYC budget for my almighty sell-out. Which means I’m buying an XBox. Please don’t tell Hiraisama.

Chad Concelmo:
I finally beat The Concelmo Family Comes to Visit for a Week. It was pretty fun for the most part, but I kept getting frustrated on such patience-testing levels as “Your Ottoman Would Look So Much Better Over There!” and “You Need to Eat More!” Even though the gameplay was a little rough, I have to admit, I can’t wait to play again.

William Haley:
The usual for me, mainly challenging level 70 night elf’s to a pvp duel with my 12 gnome and then typing “LOL newb, you suk!” after I die in one hit. And of course sending Workman inappropriate pictures of my anatomy, but then I decided to go to WebMD, you know … just “in case”, and it turns out that I should stop laughing and go to the hospital immediately. Apparently I’m sick.

So naturally I’m just going to keep playing Overlord

Hamza CTZ Aziz:
I’ve only been playing Kirby Squeak Squad for the DS. Yes, again. I don’t know why I love Kirby games so much. They’re so simple and so easy to beat, yet  I love them. It also has one of the best stories ever. Kirby’s cake gets stolen so he goes and kicks everyone’s ass to get his cake back. By best story, I mean one of the worst ever in a game.

In all seriousness, Nex actually is in the hospital. So while you lovely readers tell us what you’ve been playing this week, send Nex some of that Dtoid love his way too. 

[Thanks Atheistium for the drawing of Nex shooting himself in the head!]

Hamza Aziz