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Portmanteau: Blizzcon recovery mode

Aug 06
// William Haley
This is usually where I would write a couple of words and maybe draw some boobs, but why do something crazy like that when I can have someone else do it for me? That's why I'm letting last weeks winner, Blufire, take over for...

WF Portmanteau: Attack the cosplayers' weak spot for massive damage

Jul 30
// William Haley
Today's World Famous Portmanteau will be yet another experiment, as the "winner" will get to take over the feature this Friday while I play the booth babes and take pictures of the games at Blizzcon. The other difference is t...

WF Portmanteau: Mi swaga es su swaga

Jul 20 // William Haley
This week you'll be competing to the death for some leftover E3 swag that doesn't fit my girlfriend because she's depressed and won't stop eating. She just keeps rocking back and forth in the corner crying "How could you do that to me while I was unconscious?" and I'm like "Listen fatty, if you're not gonna wear this crap then I'm gonna give it to the smartest person at Destructoid. Or Gomeja, whoever guesses it first!" If you live in the UK or really anywhere that's not part of the 50 states that make up the REAL WORLD, shipping of items may take longer. As in never. So, the rules: 1. Two guesses at a time only. They can be one for the game, one for the movie, or two for either. You get two more after your first two have been answered, and so on. Answers will come every 5 or 10 minutes until the port is solved. 2. The winner who guesses my port correctly will then need to defend their prize. If you can keep other players from guessing YOUR port within a certain amount of questions, then the swag is all yours. If you fail at life, then you get a bag of Goblin Nutz and the knowledge that someone else is off getting laid and doing lines off the back of Playboy bunnies in their new Fallout 3 T-shirt, and that could have been you. 3. Yes I am in a bad mood today. 4. #3 wasn't really a rule, more like a statement. For all those who have been asking and especially whoever keeps writing notes in fire on my front lawn, Portmanteau will be a weekly feature from now on, most likely on Thursday or Friday around noonish. Thanks for your interest, I'm glad I have created a feature that not only wastes my time, but all of yours as well. <3 <3 <3 List of Prizes:  1 Red Trim Gamecock T-shirt (M or L) 1 Black Trim Gamecock T-shirt (M or L)1 Surprisingly Nice Fallout 3 101 T-shirt (M or L)1 Gamecock Cocksucker (Peppermint or Cinammon)An assortment of salty Goblin Nutz    Previous Ports:  Portmanteau #1 Portmanteau #2   I'm thinking of a portmanteau. Ready... go! 

This E3 was a lot like the old E3's, except that it was totally freaking retarded and free stuff was hard as hell to come by. Luckily, my supposed Jewish ancestry gives me a heightened ability to gather mass amounts of swag, ...

WF Portmanteau: Use your intelleegince to win free shizzle

Jun 03 // William Haley
Here are the rules. If you need any more clarification, just ask, or check out the old port to see how things work: 1. Portmanteau… what is it? A portmanteau is basically two words, phrases, titles, or sentences that are tied together with one common word/part of a word. In this case it will be titles of movies and games. The last word of the first movie/game should be the first word of the second movie/game. Examples: Night of the Living Dead Head Fred Metroid Prime Suspects 2. One title must be a movie, and the other title must be a video game. No television shows or anything like that (at least not for right now). Which one comes first can switch from portmanteau to portmanteau. 3. You are allowed two (2) questions at a time, and you must wait until your previous questions have been answered before going again. If you ask more than two questions, your additional questions will be ignored and Jim Sterling will appear behind you if you say his name in the mirror ten times. Your two guesses can both be about the movie, or both about the game, or one of each.  Examples: Was the movie released after 1997? Does the movie star Bruce Willis? OR Is the game rated T? Was the game released by Capcom? OR Does the movie star Bruce Willis? Does the game star Bruce Willis? 4. When you think you have an idea what the solution may be, you can use one or both of your guesses to try and guess the portmanteau. 5. No racism will be tolerated against white people. 6. Questions can only receive a "Yes" or "No" answer, so "How many...?" and "On which platform...?" type of questions can't be answered. 7. The game can be found using Gamespot's Gamefinder, and the movie can be found on IMDB.   PRIZES: Each week with every portmanteau, you will have the chance to win a prize. Just like at the carnival, if you would like a bigger prize you can save up wins (or credits or zenny or whatever you wanna call it) until you have enough to cash in for a giant stuff crab, or in this case a giant stuffed Master Chief helmet. The lower end prizes may change from week to week (as I’m guessing that eventually one day a movie will come out that’s actually better than Pan’s Labyrinth) but the big stuff will remain until someone swoops it up. Additional prizes will also be added as the competition grows.  1* = Pan’s Labyrinth (Widescreen, DVD) 2 = Odin Sphere (PS2) 3 = Game of your choice 4 = World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade Collector’s Edition (Sealed, PC) 4 = Halo 3: Legendary Edition (Xbox 360) 5 = Vacation Package #1: Cabo, Baja Mexico (4 days/3 nights, unlimited food and alcohol) 5 = Vacation Package #2: Las Vegas, Nevada (4 days/3 nights, $100 Visa gift card) * 1 is 1 win, so for 3 you would need to guess 12 correctly. Just kidding, it would be, hold on... carry the one... divide the equation.... pie over the matrix algorithm squared...okay, for the level 3 prize you would need 3 wins. Duh.  IMPORTANT NEW RULE: Once my portmanteau has been solved, the winner must create their own port which will be checked by me and then that port will be posted here. If someone can guess that port correctly within a set amount of questions, they will win a prize and the original winner will only receive a half of a point (two halves equaling a small prize). Last weeks port was solved with 75 legitimate questions asked (“Can you give me Virtual Girl’s number?” is NOT a legitimate question) by Gomeja. Technically it was closer to 100 hundred questions because I was asleep (which happens from time to time) and was unable to let everyone know that Gomeja was smarter than all of them, but this time I have the new Will Smith CD, some uncut heroine, and Guitar Hero on expert to keep me awake. Good luck! I’m thinking of a portmanteau, meng…

Last week's world famous portmanteau beta started off rocky but you all got the hang of it pretty quickly. So now it’s time for Round 2, this time with the prizes I promised. Also, just like in real life I am hoping there will be less crying and more bewbs, but only you can make that happen.


World Famous Portmanteau: Beta Edition

May 23
// William Haley
If you're anything like the millions of other people surfing the Web right now, then you're probably always on the lookout for new and interesting ways to waste your life away behind a keyboard. As always, Destructoid is here...

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