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Satire

From Dtoid's Golden Archives: Dec 19, 2006
[Destructoid turns 7 on March 16, 2013! I'm celebrating early by repairing some of my favorite articles from our Wordpress days. You'll be able to browse this original collection soon -- "Destructoid's Golden Archives" is her... read feature

A consumer's guide on how not to make the press and themselves look retarded
Games journalism criticism is a young field of business. As with any emerging practice it often likes to talk about itself, not because games writers are pretentious masturbatory bastards, but because we care to do the best j... read feature

Reddit uncovers the PS4 controller's true functionality


The shocking truth
Feb 14
Priceless. [Artwork by Farrow on NeoGaf. Thanks, Cybii] read
It's Always Sunny at Nintendo
Earlier this week, Nintendo's Shigeru Miyamoto claimed his company had failed to "communicate the value" of the Wii U to consumers, a turn of phrase that struck me as quite amusing. As a fan of It's Always Sunny in Phila... read feature

We waited five years for this?
There are few boxes as anticipated as BioShock Infinite, the long awaited box to prequels BioShock Limited Edition and BioShock for the PlayStation 3. Irrational Games, known as 2K Boston during BioShock's release, made waves... read feature

Suck my hardware, you stupid STUPID
The Wii U has had a chance to settle in North America, and just recently hit shelves in Europe. The question on everybody's lips is, of course -- is the Wii U the best home console in the world, and should I throw away every ... read feature

How Xbox Live is blatantly better than PSN, animated


Thomas Truong brings the brilliance once more
Nov 16
Thomas Truong, the man responsible for the excellent New Adventures of Podtoid, has been working on another project, and it's quite glorious. He's gone and taken a section of an old article I wrote, How Xbox Live is Blatantl... read
Mountain Dew

Review: Halo 4: King of the Hill Fueled by Mountain Dew


Dewlicious!
Oct 31
I'll admit to not being the world's biggest Halo fan, so it took me by surprise to find out that Microsoft had changed Halo 4's name since I last saw it at E3, deciding instead to call it Halo 4: King of the Hill Powered by M... read
The REAL political debate of the year
This year, two reigning incumbents are looking to win themselves a second term of power. I am, of course, talking about president-elect of the United States, Barack Obama, and president-man of the eighth console gen... read feature

Proving superiority through SCIENCE
Ninja Theory's redesign of Dante in DmC: Devil May Cry is easily one of the most controversial overhauls in gaming history. Lengthy arguments have been made, explicitly detailing why the new Dante is such a bad character, and... read feature

The sequel the fans deserve!
Electronic Arts has repeatedly assured fans that Mirror's Edge as a series will not die, that one day we'll get the sequel of our dreams. Nevertheless, folks remain skeptical that we'll ever see Mirror's Edge 2. The original ... read feature


Since medieval times, humanity has debated, argued, and sometimes even fought over the eternal question -- which company is better, Sony or Microsoft? Angry diatribes have been written and blood has been spilled, but neither ... read feature


Project H.A.M.M.E.R. was one of those early announced Wii games that never really went anywhere and quietly disappeared. Alongside Sadness, it was the sort of title that stood out from the minigames and gimmicky PS2 ports. Un... read feature


Diablo III launched a few scant months ago, but its PR snafus and controversial business decisions have soured a fair few players. Meanwhile, Runic Games has sat back and capitalized, as jilted dungeon crawlers look toward To... read feature

E3: Threediots is the killer app the 3DS has been needing


Jun 07
The absolute highlight of yesterday's special E3 3DS press conference was, undoubtedly, the unveiling of Threediots, a new 3D pulp comedy show that will air on the handheld's Nintendo Video channel. As you can see, it is lit... read

Jimquisition Extra: Virgillio Armarndio's Art Hole


Mar 16
In this bonus episode of Jimquisition, we share rare footage from an obscure, aborted television show, Virgillio Armarndio's Art Hole. Dubbed the most emotionally engaging videogame journalist in the solar system, Virgillio ... read

Jimquisition: Mass Effect 3: A Gay Erotic Love Story


Feb 27
Let it not be said that I can't get mileage out of a concept. My Mass Effect 3 gay love story went over really well when it was posted on Destructoid last week, so I did a sultry reading of it on this week's Jimquisition for... read

The Mass Effect fan seductively slid his disc into the tray, the warm humming of his computer implying an eagerness to receive. With hands almost trembling in anticipation, he booted up Origin, greeted with the familiar pop-u... read feature

Presenting the new-look Destructoid reviews format


Dec 06
We at Destructoid are always looking to improve our reviews. They're a huge part of our site and one of the most controversial aspects of any videogame community, so ensuring that reviews are clear, concise and fair should be... read

Should Diablo III be a rhythm-puzzle game?


Sep 26
I've not played the Diablo III beta, but I have seen screenshots on IGN which I usually steal to crop their logo out and then use as header images. Still, I can't help but feel that the game would have been much better as a r... read

IT IS TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY TODAY!


Sep 19
Oh, har de har, it's Talk Like A Pirate Day, the most hilarious day of the year. If you've never heard of it, it's a day where we all get to be frightfully amusing by saying the things a pirate would say! In honor of this nat... read

Art Juice: Iwata's Nub Love


Sep 13
On this week's edition of Art Juice, which is a real thing now, I turn my illustrative talents toward the "Nubageddon" controversy, with this chillingly satirical piece that I think speaks to us all. It's called Iwata's Nub L... read

Nintendo is giving early adopters twenty free videogames from its dusty old vaults, and that's fine, but those hoping for something fresher and/or worth more than a collective five bucks were left disappointed ... until now!&... read feature

Improving the Silent Hill HD Collection voice acting


Aug 19
I've made no secret of what I think about the voice acting in Silent Hill HD Collection. While I'm normally one to defend design decisions, I can't find a way to support voice acting that somehow manages to sink below the lo... read

Nick Chester, Dale North and myself are all patiently waiting for Google to finally roll out G+ Games in our respective areas. We cannot wait to play them, because we love videogames in all shapes and sizes. While we got ours... read feature

REPORT: You're not owed any UMvC3 character!


Jul 22
Destructoid has uncovered some mindblowing news that will shock and awe the gaming community -- we have discovered, through serious JOURNALISM, that Capcom does not owe you Mega Man or any other character in Ultimate Marvel v... read

Review: Firmware Update 3.61


May 15
It's been an excruciatingly long wait, but after weeks of demands, Sony finally released the latest long-awaited installment in its iconic Firmware series, Firmware 3.61.  Destructoid was unable to get an advance review ... read

REPORT: Dtoid editor beats 3DS launch game in record time


Mar 28
On March 28 2011, at 13:48, Jim Sterling proudly announced that he just beat the best 3DS launch title before everybody else he knows. The game? Try To Hit The 3DS Friend List Cap. It was tough, but thanks to Twitter and a lu... read

Not racist ...


Mar 06
Pokémon Black and White released today, and you'd be surprised at how many people said they're opting for White. Obviously, this is utterly racist, as I'm sure you've heard 1,000 times on the Internet already today.&nb... read

Make mincemeat of Gadaffi in Libyan Hamburger Recipe


Mar 01
Raitendo, the wonderful man responsible for Passage In Ten Seconds, has come back with another suitably satirical game, Libyan Hamburger Recipe.  As you may have already guessed, the aim of the game is to make a deliciou... read

Dtoid (the show) week 4 recap: I think my butt get big


Nov 08
Last week was insane, especially yesterday. The Destructoid (the show) was pretty nuts as well. We started giving away a bunch of rare Super Meat Boy, Super Mario, and Bit.Trip stuff, we reviewed Kinect and its launch games, ... read

Patriot Games: A July 4th Destructoid spectacular


Jul 04
So, I guess it's a Holiday today. That's one of the reasons why I don't have a Sundays with Sagat to show you this week, which makes me very sad. To make up for it, I thought I'd try to throw together a couple of topical feat... read






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