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Satan

Patriot Games: A July 4th Destructoid spectacular


Jul 04
So, I guess it's a Holiday today. That's one of the reasons why I don't have a Sundays with Sagat to show you this week, which makes me very sad. To make up for it, I thought I'd try to throw together a couple of topical feat... read

Pachter thinks Ubisoft's DRM is just lovely


May 31
Game industry analyst and monkey juggler Michael Pachter does not think that Ubisoft's DRM is a bad thing. In fact, as a lawyer he believes it is Ubisoft's right to protect its games in any way the publisher sees fit.  "... read

Kotick still considers West & Zampella his friends


May 07
Despite all the legal wrangling and public airing of dirty laundry, Activision CEO Bobby Kotick still wants Jason West and Vince Zampella to know that he loves them. The former Infinity Ward bosses were fired under a bitter c... read

Wait, what!? In news that could be considered shocking at the very least, Halo developer Bungie has announced that it just signed a ten-year contract with evil publisher Activision, marking the studio's first long-term engage... read feature

Warning: iPad users falling prey to virus attacks


Apr 26
So grimly predictable. The iPad hasn't been out long, but already a bunch of nefarious malware purveyors (better known as "twats") are preying upon unsuspecting (better known as "stupid") iPad users, offering better performan... read

Halo: The Movie will be the best movie ever


Apr 01
The biggest videogame franchise ever gets the biggest movie treatment ever. I would seriously pay money to actually watch something like this in theaters. P.S. Samit Sarkar didn't find this funny at all. What a racist. P.S.S. The video sometimes autoplays for some reason, so we put it after the jump >> read

Command & Conquer 4 requires constant online connection


Mar 18
Uh oh ... Hot off the heels of Ubisoft's serpentine PC DRM, Electronic Arts has revealed that it doesn't want to be left out of the hate and has jumped into the fire as well. Command & Conquer 4, like Ubi's recent PC game... read

Sony patents degradable demos (they degrade!)


Mar 05
Game publishers are always looking for new ways to provide that "first free hit" as if they were nerdy drug dealers, and a fresh patent from Sony appears to have stumbled upon an interesting way of doing it. The filing detail... read

How Activision can become popular


Mar 04
Evil publisher Activision has an image problem. Much of that problem stems from the fact that evil publisher Activision is evil, and everybody knows it. Perhaps if Activision were less evil, its public image would improve, bu... read

'Satanic-themed videogames' concern Christian alarmist


Feb 24
Worried that videogames may be teaching your children to worship the Horned One? Fear not, my good friends, because a righteous crusader is here to save us all! Philadelphia paper The Bulletin sheds light on mostly old and/or... read

Bobby Kotick says he isn't a dick


Feb 22
Since Activision's rise to gaming publisher domination and their commitment to rehashing money makers over and over again the gaming world has had a new face of evil to point at as the problem with everything ever: Bobby Koti... read

Dante's Inferno can't say 'Go to Hell' during Super Bowl


Feb 01
Dante's Inferno is gearing up for one of the most prestigious advertising slots that America has to offer -- a spot in the Super Bowl commercial lineup. However, there's going to be a sacrifice in order to reach such a huge a... read

Insane Christian group wants to ban Modern Warfare 2


Dec 22
It wouldn't be Christmas without some good ol' fashioned Christian intolerance, would it? A bunch of radical wingnuts have taken issue with Modern Warfare 2, declaring that all decent people should denounce it and the "massac... read

ESRB: Dante's Inferno contains demon penis


Dec 21
Oh yes, it's that time again! Time for another brilliant ESRB rating. We've had Street Fighter IV's flexed gluteus, Mass Effect 2's future blouse, and Final Fantasy XIII's breast side portions. Now the ESRB has given us the m... read

Activision: Gamers 'demand' to pay more for Call of Duty


Nov 15
Evil publisher Activision loves the color of money, and apparently having the biggest game franchises in the world just doesn't rake in enough cash for the nefarious company. With that in mind, Activision is looking at ways t... read

Modern Warfare 2 gets $10 price hike on PC


Oct 15
It seems there is no low to which evil publisher Activision will not sink. Still licking its lips after raising the UK RRP of Modern Warfare 2, Activision has now turned its eyes upon America, singling out PC gamers and deemi... read

Kotick explains how to screw $500 out of a $50 game


Sep 15
It seems lately that every time Bobby "Possibly Had Sex With Hitler's Ghost" Kotick opens his venomous mouth, he says something thoroughly disgusting. The evil CEO of Activision has laughed about charging high price... read

Activision wants to take the fun out of making games


Sep 15
Evil publisher Activision is evil, and Activision CEO Bobby Kotick is its dark and villainous ruler. We all know this, but if you needed any further evidence that Kotick is indeed the flame-haired spawn of Satan's cruel uncle... read

Kotick: Videogames can eclipse movies and TV


Aug 31
Bobby "Slightly Worse Than Satan" Kotick, CEO of evil publisher Actvision, believes that videogames have the potential to eclipse movies and television to become the ultimate form of entertainment, and he won't even... read

Dante's Inferno will be popular because everyone knows Hell


Aug 27
A few people have complained about the Dante's Inferno promotional team telling consumers to "Go to Hell," but EA Games president Frank Gibeau believes that everybody's favorite realm of post-mortem punishment is a ... read

Microsoft 'destroyed development culture'


Aug 26
Microsoft ruined fun, which is something we all know. However, according to FASA Interactive founder Jordan Weisman, Microsoft ruined far more than that. It in fact destroyed an entire studio after acquiring it, and very near... read

Modern Warfare 2 might be causing a stink in the UK thanks to its disgusting RRP of £54.99, but if you think evil publisher Activision cared, you'd be mistaken. In fact, CEO Bobby Kotick has admitted, without a shred of... read feature

Pachter: Modern Warfare 2's UK price is an evil test


Jul 22
Michael Pachter, industry analyst and professional guess-barbarian, has stated that evil publisher Activision's decision to price Modern Warfare 2 at £54.99 has nothing to do with a weak pound. The excuse of a poor UK e... read

New Darksiders trailer may be generic, but it gets my vote


May 20
Poor Darksiders: Wrath of War just can't catch a break -- the game's no where near being released (it's slated for August 25), and the general around the internet seems to be that it's just too generic to stand out. After all... read

Activision wants Modern Warfare 2 to sell sh*tloads


Apr 02
Evil publisher Activision has laid out its nefarious plan to make Modern Warfare 2 the best selling game of all time. Since Activision routinely sacrifices lambs and children to satisfy bargains with the Old Gods, it will lik... read

Noby Noby Boy update coming, will include 'offline' multiplayer


Mar 13
Noby Noby Boy creator Keita Takahashi has posted on the PlayStation Blog, revealing a new update is coming to his game. I'm hoping they plan to patch out the pure, rampant Satanism contained within that evil file, but I'm dou... read

Activision promising better, original Wii games. Yeah, right


Mar 10
Activision CEO and drinker of virgin blood Bobby Kotick has promised that evil publisher Activision will be looking to provide better content on the Wii, instead of the cheap ports and endless Guitar Hero sequels that the com... read

Why the Dante's Inferno criticism can go to Hell


Feb 28
Much ado has been had over Electronic Arts' Dante's Inferno, a God of War-esque action game that has used the famous poem of the same name as its thematic backdrop. As in Dante's epic, players will have to travel the nine cir... read

Dante's Inferno has a video and pictures, will ruin books forever


Feb 24
There have been a number of complaints lodged against EA's upcoming action title, Dante's Inferno, mostly because it looks to be nothing like the book, and apparently serves only to piss upon everything that has ever been w... read

Videogame consoles now cause skin sores: Their list of crimes grows!


Feb 24
Just when you think that videogames couldn't be blamed for anything else, along come those famous experts to identity a skin condition caused by gaming. "PlayStation palmar hidradenitis" is the name of the "new... read

Why Noby Noby Boy is the dark spawn of Satan


Feb 22
In the many months leading up to Noby Noby Boy's release on the PSN, I have held firm on one important fact -- that the Boy of the game's title is a dark and brooding hub of black, thirsting evil in the purest of forms. He is... read

Church's Chicken to help advertise Afro Samurai, seriously


Jan 26
Church’s Chicken is teaming up with Namco-Bandai’s new Surge label to promote Afro Samurai. The chicken chain will offer their support for TV and radio ads, as well as in-store prizes that include copies of the ga... read






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