Ten thousand devastated gamers will be unable to download Doritos: Dash of Destruction today, as the Xbox Live Marketplace is unstable. The issue affects those trying to access it on both the Xbox 360 and PC.
Issues appear to be sporadic, so lucky gamers may be able to get on without a problem. Other users are having great difficulty getting any content to display.
As far as we know, Xbox Live itself is up and running just fine. Playing games, redeeming codes, and sending pictures of your penis to anybody with a vaguely feminine Gamertag should still be doable, so the average Xbox Live user is sitting pretty. You just can’t give Microsoft any money today, and that’s a tragedy.
“We are aware of the problem and are working to resolve the issue,” said MS. “We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and thank you for your patience.”
This is likely a maintenance issue rather than a hack attack, but we should definitely all be paranoid anyway. Perhaps murder your family, then turn the gun on yourself. It’s the only way to be safe!