WHAT?
The last time I grafted the history of the video game industry to pop culture, it went over much better than I expected; nobody executed me in the streets during E3 and I also wasn’t fired!
So for my follow-up, I decided to go with consoles that have finished their lifecycle, filtered through the lens of professional wrestling. Based on my Twitter feed during WrestleMania, the games industry loves these sinewy fight boys and girls, so this should be a hell of a lot more accessible than some comic only a handful of you are reading.
This list is subjective, especially since I’ve only been regularly watching pro wresting since April. Although I’ve done a lot of catching up, there might be some holes in my arguments, so I’d love to hear what you think in the comments. Also, The Miz is probably the best heel on TV right now, don’t @ me.
Roman Reigns: Sega Saturn
First off, I don’t hate Roman Reigns. The guy was pushed too hard too soon after The Shield broke up, yes. Some of those early promos are straight rotten, which is not entirely his fault. But he’s improved a lot since his initial push, and his matches with AJ Styles post-WrestleMania were honestly impressive, despite some repetitive storytelling across both pay-per-views. Roman Reigns is all right by me, especially in his current USA title feud.
But looking back at the former members of The Shield, all three of these guys should’ve been slam dunks from the second they broke up. Seth Rollins was obviously the most successful member of the stable for a long while (thankfully Dean Ambrose is finally getting his due), but why didn’t Reigns hit? The trio rarely put on a bad match, and Reigns got the kind of applause most tag acts would’ve died for. It all comes down to timing: Roman Reigns was given a major spotlight well before he was ready. Looking back, it should’ve been Reigns going after the Intercontinental title and Ambrose feuding with Rollins for the championship, allowing Reigns to develop his considerable talents in the midcard.
You know what else suffered from bad timing? The Sega Saturn. Coming off the red-hot Sega Genesis, the company was feeling deservedly cocky. So it announced and launched its console on the same day Sony announced the much cheaper PlayStation. The launch was not as successful as Sega hoped, alienating certain retailers who had been kept out of the loop and confusing shoppers. Although the company would later find some measure of cult success with the Dreamcast, it wasn’t enough to recover from the Saturn. I don’t know if people will ever cheer for Roman Reigns, or if he’s destined to be booed forever. But his time was up before it ever truly began.
Speaking of time being up…
John Cena: Xbox 360
John Cena is the Superman of WWE. He’s big and strong, he wins almost consistently, he’s an incorruptible good guy, and families love him. Here’s the other thing: people begging Cena to turn heel are wrong for the same reason people who want Superman to be darker are wrong: it’s okay to have a simple good guy in the same universe as nasty villains and morally grey anti-heroes. The existence of Cena does not negate, say, the amazing Kevin Owens. Hell, the two may even complement each other from time to time.
Anyway.
The Xbox 360 is one of the all-time great video game consoles, and I hope we’re far enough removed from the last generation that I can say that without reprisal. From a pop-culture perspective, the 360 was the video game console for a while, holding the crown long after the Wii fad crumpled under its own weight. Its first-party support may not have been the greatest, but it was often the best place to play third-party games. For all its flaws, the Xbox Live Arcade did a lot for independent game development, and the strength of the system’s catalog remains in the forefront thanks to backwards compatibility on Xbox One.
The Xbox 360 is a damn good system, but it’s not perfect. The red ring controversy is an embarrassment for all of consumer electronics, but I’d argue the 360’s final years will be the saddest part of its legacy. Its reputation as a system for casual players turned the last few years of its life into a joke as brands and social media apps swarmed the console like so many bloodthirsty piranhas. (Quick poll: did any of you ever use Twitter on your 360?)
We’ve got two iconic figures, both marred by their connection to the most popular of pop culture. The man and the machine brought another level of mainstream acceptance to their respective industries, consistently bringing in money from younger fans and families. They also deserve credit for their gifts to hardcore fans (Cena putting over younger talent like Daniel Bryan and Kevin Owens; the 360 bringing indie development to consoles), but their work as ambassadors might just be their most enduring legacies.
Speaking of Daniel Bryan…
Daniel Bryan: Nintendo DS
Daniel Bryan is destined for the WWE Hall of Fame. Even discounting his work in the independent circuit, Bryan is one of the most popular wrestlers ever. I’ve seen the Yes! chant in person twice in the past month, and it’s resoundingly infectious. He’s got some real stinkers on his resume, but even the worst Daniel Bryan storylines will still have some incredible wrestling courtesy of the American Dragon. He doesn’t have the tall, muscular look you’d expect from a pro wrestler, but that’s easy to ignore once you see him knee somebody in the face.
It’s hard to remember a time before Daniel Bryan-mania, and it’s equally difficult for me to recall the initial Nintendo DS backlash. The system may have been more conceptual than the PSP, but its unique structure and killer library gave it an edge. Unlike the similarly unique Wii, the DS kept its staying power much longer than expected. Yes, many DS games were awful minigame-fests or shitty platformers with map screens on the bottom. But a large swath of prominent titles realized the handheld’s potential, resulting in arguably the strongest handheld library of all time.
The DS and Daniel Bryan are small, eclectic workhorses, beloved across demographics for their years of solid performance. Not everything they’ve ever done has been great, but the peaks remain exciting. You don’t need rose-colored glasses to appreciate either of these underdogs.
Speaking of rose-colored glasses…
Stone Cold Steve Austin: SNES
And…
The Rock: PlayStation 2
On the whole, the Attitude Era is not as good as people seem to think it was. There’s a lot of problematic stuff on the story side, and some of those matches are not particularly exciting. But — even from a modern perspective — it’s hard to knock two of its biggest stars: The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin. (Well, it’s not hard; The Rock’s Wrestlemania 32 promo was a million years long and Steve Austin has the domestic abuse thing hanging over his head, but they’re still two of the biggest names ever produced by wrestling.)
I brought out the SNES and PlayStation 2 because, let’s be honest, those are the two greatest video game consoles. The staggering library on the PS2 means there’s some real garbage, but there’s also an overwhelming amount of gems, and the system was well-represented in popular culture during its heyday. Conversely, the SNES has a (relatively) tighter list of games, but the stuff that matters remains influential to this day. No matter what you hear, everyone is still chasing the Chrono Trigger/Final Fantasy III crown.
It may be too on-the-nose to compare the two biggest wrestling stars to my picks for the greatest video game consoles, but I’m also not wrong. The Rock has the greatest success out of any wrestler, translating his wrestling career into a ridiculously successful film career (and potentially a third career in politics). Steve Austin may be constantly orbiting the industry that defined him, but his catchphrases can still be heard on wrestling shows and WWE has been trying to re-create the success of the Stone Cold/McMahon feud for ages. (See also: Roman Reigns.) The Rock has been doing very well outside of wrestling; Stone Cold left an indelible mark on wrestling. The PS2 is an all-time classic system, beloved across generations; the SNES was a milestone in game design that echoes well into 2016.
Speaking of, uh, wrestling…
Cesaro: Nintendo GameCube
Cesaro is the best. The GameCube is the best. I don’t want to hear anything from any of you about this.
