Though it’s the kind of thing you forget after a whole decade has gone by, The Witcher 3 released with lots of bugs. Though CD Projekt Red fixed most along the way, they only patched the remaining few for the remaster—but they’re so beloved you can still turn them off!
If you still have no idea what I’m talking about, then I salute you, fellow bug enjoyer. Sometimes they really are the spice that makes games go from spectacular to truly transcendent. I am talking about Roach, the horse.
If you’re a Roach hater, you’ll likely be pleased to know that The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt – Remastered fixes most known bugs affecting Geralt’s famous companion. And, if you’relike me, there’s equally good news, because you can actually toggle all the fixes. You’re just gonna have to trust me, because the alternative is having to deal with the Google search result for “Roach bugs.”
What’s the deal with Roach
There’s a lot of love in my heart for Roach, which I’ve previously ranked as the 5th best horse in the most serious and objective video game horse ranking. What sets Roach apart is that although it behaves very well for the most part, it can totally glitch out in a way that makes it feel like it’s being possessed by all manner of horse demons—making it even more fun to ride.
Roach’s glitches are too many to count, and you’ll likely go through a few playthroughs without realizing the full extent of its inner demonry, but Roach is known for sometimes starting to run on its two back legs, all while still carrying Geralt on its back.
That was the first one I experienced in my playthroughs, all before I read about it online and learned it can also happen with the front legs. I had to pause just so I could laugh as loudly as the event deserved.
And it’s not just about the fun. Roach’s glitches break reality and might even make you feel like this isn’t just a Witcher’s horse, but an actual Witcher. Whereas Torrent from Elden Ring, the 3rd best horse of all time, beats it because of its reliability, Roach will sometimes simply decide to break the scale of horse awesomeness. Torrent is the only video game horse capable of double jumps that let the player clear most terrain, but Roach doesn’t even need that. You just need to park Roach by a house, walk a few feet away, look back at it, and there’s a non-small chance you’ll see it standing on the roof. It’s such a common occurrence it has even inspired beautiful art!
Roach might not be the best horse in games, but only because it doesn’t care for fame. It’s the funniest one, though, and I’m glad the devs are allowing players to leave it as-is.
