The past week in gaming news: Jonathan Blow drowns the world in his piss

Also included: Kirby’s penis

Another week, another wave of gaming news that’s almost impossible to keep up with!

Last week we had dog poo, this week we have Jonathan Blow’s wee. I kind of hope that bodily waste doesn’t become a running trend in these lists, or else next week we might have Shigeru Miyamoto’s… uh…

You know what? Let’s just get on with the roundup.

• UK retailer GAME has totally missed the point of fighting game events by hosting a Street Fighter V tournament where the first round is a time-trial against CPU opponents.
• Apple’s panicking that it missed the boat with VR, so it hired a researcher to catch up with what everyone else is doing. Probably should’ve got on that a couple of years ago, Apple.
• Volition is being pretty vocal about a Saints Row game that never was.
• Scott Cawthon admits the newest Five Nights at Freddy’s game was a rushed job after he launched it almost a month before its announced release date.
• Fire Emblem Fates has been causing a bit of an uproar online… again. Nintendo announced controversial scenes were being cut, and then later explained in more detail how it’s going to work around them.
• The Witness developer Jonathan Blow either has a mighty thirst for apple juice, or he pisses like a racehorse. I guess one would naturally lead to the other anyway, right?
• Overwatch’s second beta will be happening in February, bringing with it new maps and game modes. I really want a solo game starring Winston, I love that adorable science gorilla…
• Xbox One is getting some more backward compatible 360 games. Big ones on the list include The Witcher 2, Skullgirls, Counter-Strike: Global Offensive, and Sam & Max Save the World. Still waiting for that new Sam & Max series, Telltale.
• Seems like Warner Bros didn’t learn how to not be a massive dick to PC players after the whole Arkham Knight thing, because it has now cancelled all future support for Mortal Kombat X on the platform. No new DLC, no updates, no fixes to the awful netcode, no nothin’.
• It is getting a whole load of new stuff on consoles, though.
• Ever wanted to see Ganon’s, King Hippo’s, or a Tetris block’s dick? I know I have, and now someone’s done a whole series of paintings of Nintendo characters in the buff.
• Lastly, Iron Maiden is launching a mobile RPG for some reason.

The moral of the lesson for the last week is simple: filling up an industrial container with your own urine might be impressive to you, but to the rest of us it’s just gross. I also now want a nice, cold glass of delicious apple juice.

What were your biggest bits of news from last week?