Strangely lenient towards cock fighting
I am very pleased to announce that this week is 100% bodily fluid-free. There’s no wee, no poo, no nothing. It’s been a totally wholesome, family-friendly week in gaming news!
The most NSFW thing you’ll find is the very existence of Danny DeVito, and all he did was burst out of a sofa while completely starkers. See? Completely kosher!
Anyway, here’s the last week:
- The Witness is doing very well, with its great reviews, great sales and er… astoundingly high piracy rates.
- Bayonetta and yet another Fire Emblem character are headed to Smash Bros next week.
- Pikachu’s become a gritty talking detective in Great Detective Pikachu, and of course, the Internet wants Danny DeVito to play him in the localisation.
- It’s been a busy week for Lara Croft, as Rise of the Tomb Raider came out on PC. The port’s a bit of a mixed bag, with some significant performance issues affecting some players.
- Barbie’s now a game developer.
- That cancelled Saints Row game we heard about a few weeks ago has been released as a free ISO. Boot it up on your PSP emulator and have a grand ole time!
- GOG has its own interesting take on early access – it’s hand-picked by them, and refunds are available if you don’t like what you buy.
- GameStop is publishing Insomniac Games’ Song of the Deep.
- Bungie’s got a new CEO – Pete Parsons.
- Here are your PS+ games for next month. Helldivers is really great!
- EA is hosting its own event, rather than having their standard E3 conference. It’s happening in London and LA on the same day, so how it handles the announcements with an 8+ hour time difference will be interesting.
- Fire Emblem Fates won’t have character petting in the localised version. Probably because it sounds creepy as shit.
- Key reseller G2A has been used to sell stolen accounts by third-party sellers.
- There are lots of buff cavemen in revealing loincloths to be seen in this hour of Far Cry Primal gameplay.
- You can play music using the Steam Controller’s vibrators. Y’know, for when you can’t be arsed to open Spotify.
- Platinum’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game finally got announced. It caused a minor uproar on Destructoid, as wars were waged over who the best turtle is. Spoilers: it’s Raph.
And there we have it! Danny DeVito, Barbie, and cavemen, with not so much of a splatter of blood in sight!
What were your biggest bits of news?