‘Tis the season to bust out all of your grodiest games and get to bloody work. One of October’s haunting hallmarks is Namco’s Splatterhouse series, from the 1988 arcade classic to the overlooked 2010 reboot. Don’t let one of the series’ most charming entries pass you by, though. Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Graffiti is a chibi-style take on the gore-soaked side-scroller, and it’s the perfect game to blaze through at devilishly fast speeds this Halloween.
Whether you’re just getting into speedrunning or looking for something new to tackle, it’s important to find the right starting point. Wanpaku Graffiti is a short and sweet game with just the right amount of challenge and memorization. It’s pretty easy overall, but it’s one of those games that can end just as quickly with a few hasty mistakes. The world record currently sits at 17m13s, and even the lowest-ranked time doesn’t creep too far above 20 minutes. Even more importantly, I’ve spent a ghoulish amount of time turning 20-minute sessions into hours.
Quick ‘n gritty
There’s not much out there that scares me in terms of media nowadays. The Splatterhouse games, however, have very scary soundtracks. That’s not the case with Wanpaku Graffiti, so you won’t have to worry about being shaken to your very core each run. Hell, within the first minute alone, you’re treated to a spirited, copyright-dodging rendition of the “Thriller” dance with a rock-tossing Drac lead. Sections like this, which have Rick defeating a certain number of enemies before moving on, are pretty much the only parts of any run that drag.
It only takes a few playthroughs to lock down some of the most important time-savers. You’ll quickly learn where all of the possessed books emerge in the first boss battle. You’ll be able to stop the creepy doll’s flying chairs before they have a chance to knock you on your ass permanently. Rising spikes, disembodied hands, and headless chickens won’t even make you break a sweat. If any of this sounds suitably ridiculous, it’s all within the opening four minutes.
Ratty roadblocks
Of all the run-killers, one of the most reliable is the early fight against the giant rat. This mutant mother squeaks out baby rats from the right side of the screen as you attempt to make your way over from the left. Unfortunately, an undeniably foul gust of wind hinders the way, so you need to time your jumps and slashes right so you don’t get knocked all the way back — and eventually die — every time you touch a little rat. All it takes to split the boss in twain is a single strike, so be patient and make it count.
There are plenty of ways to save time in the stages that follow. The most satisfying scenarios will see Rick moving non-stop over, under, and through even the most imposing of obstacles. Don’t let bosses like the Fly (of The Fly fame) trip you up; they’re dead easy. Before you know it, you’ll be dodging sharks, bashing werewolves, and finally taking down the pumpkin king in style. Are you a bad enough parody of a dude to collect the crystal balls and unlock the true ending? Yes, you are.
Ghouls on film
Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Graffiti quickly became a Halloween gaming staple for me, so I’m hoping more folks looking for a retro speedrun try out the haunt, too. It has a little bit of something for everyone. It’s Diet Nasty. There are recognizable parodies beyond Splatterhouse itself, and enough varied ideas to keep things interesting. Just thinking about it again has me excited, so maybe this’ll be the year I go all in and aim for the bottom of the spooky speedrun leaderboards.
