Sega’s robot girlfriend will love you long time

Sega is best known for its videogames and those really annoying claw thingies where you try and pick up stuffed animals. What it isn’t typically known for is constructing miniature robotic girlfriends for people who can’t attract a real woman. EMA — or Eternal Maiden Actualization — is the answer that Brian Peppers has been looking for, as it provides all the affection of a real women, with none of the judgement or PMS.

At just 15 inches tall, it’ll be only the most genitally impoverished who’ll be able to actually have sex with her, but EMA can still provide happiness to men around the world. After all, she’s “petite, feminine and busty.” She’s able to sing, dance, pass around business cards and “walk like a lady.” 

Most important of all, EMA has a specially activiated “love mode,” which allows her to detect and kiss any human heads that happen to be in her general vicinity. I give it half a week before someone hacks into EMA and programs her to give out free handjobs. 

As reviews editor of Destructoid, I believe it is my sworn duty to acquire and then review EMA. As a publisher that works with Destructoid, I believe it is Sega’s duty to send me one of these things for free. Wait, send me two, then I make them lez off!

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James Stephanie Sterling
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