RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE!
Can I talk about DuckTales Remastered for a minute?
I’m not going to cite any specific examples, but I’ve read more than a handful of reviews that knocked Remastered down for being a bit too “classic” in the difficulty department. Some people had such a rough time that it actually soured their opinion of the original — I guess DuckTales was just more flawed than we dared to admit, and it took this remake to finally bring the truth to light.
I am very disappointed in those people.
It’s f*cking DuckTales, one of the easier games in the NES library! Are you so spoiled by modern design leniency that you spout tired labels like “cheap” and “unfair” whenever a game punishes you for your failure to learn and adapt? Or is it that you’ll only accept above-average challenge when offset by a safety net — like checkpoints seemingly every two steps — to spare you the horror of having to exercise caution and restraint? Heaven forbid a game asks you to plan ahead before plunging headlong into uncharted territory.
If that’s you, you need to play Volgarr the Viking and gain some goddamn perspective.
Volgarr the Viking (PC)
Developer: Crazy Viking Studios
Publisher: Adult Swim Games
Released: September 13, 2013
Rig: Intel Core i3-380M, 6GB of RAM, GeForce GT 425M, Windows 7 64-bit
You’ve played Volgarr the Viking before. It is Contra. It is Battletoads. It is Ghosts ‘n Goblins. Most appropriately, it is Rastan, a 1987 Taito arcade game infamous for its unrelenting nature. From the types of hazards and enemies to the general play style and progression, the parallels are so numerous that it wouldn’t be wrong to call Volgarr a spiritual sequel with a Nordic flavor. Even the stage layout on the first few screens of the first level mirrors that of Rastan‘s opening moments.
Like its forebears, the greatest achievement in Volgarr is survival. Even if you never come close to completion, being able to squeeze out a few extra seconds of life is its own reward.
Volgarr was designed with the mind that just because a game isn’t immediately accessible to all players doesn’t mean that it can’t be enjoyable. The trick is to balance the sheer brutality with a simple control scheme and obstacles that can be overcome with enough patient observation. Knowing what needs to be done doesn’t guarantee victory, but it goes a long way towards keeping hope alive, even if barely.
This is why I hate it when people call a difficult game “cheap” or “unfair” when such terms aren’t warranted. They imply that the developers didn’t know what they were doing, leading to a haphazard assembly that misleads the player into unavoidable situations. Crazy Viking Studios knew exactly what it was doing — Volgarr is constructed in such a way that the greatest obstruction to victory is your own mediocre skills.
What’s refreshing is how Crazy Viking Studios did away with seemingly all modern game trappings for a true old-school experience. There are no cutscenes, no dialog, no save files (more on that later), and no hint bubbles. Hell, there isn’t even a proper main menu — after the game loads, the title flashes for a brief moment, Odin commands you to rise from the dead, and you immediately start marching. The lone allowance is a series of brief text prompts in the first few seconds that tell you how to perform the basic moves.
You begin with a weak wooden shield that only absorbs two projectile impacts before breaking. You can upgrade your gear by opening treasure chests — first you’ll acquire an indestructible shield that also allows you to throw charged spears, then a helmet that grants an extra hit point, and finally a flame sword with double strength. As you receive damage, you’ll lose your equipment piece by piece until you’re reduced to an explosion of bloody bones.
There is no progress without risk; you’ll often find yourself in situations that demand more unconventional strategies. For instance, Volgarr’s jump trajectory is locked once he leaves the ground, not unlike in Castlevania, but you can change your trajectory in midair by performing a double jump. This technique comes in handy later, such as when jumping to an adjacent platform means overshooting the ground then doubling back.
Perhaps you’ll be climbing a rope and can’t reach a platform overhead. You can leap away from the rope, toss a spear at the nearby wall to create a makeshift platform, then quickly double jump back onto the rope lest you fall to your death. Now you’ll be able to jump onto the spear then hop up from there to the target platform.
Your only hope for success is to discover such advanced techniques on your own and master them in controlled environments so that they can effectively be employed in more dangerous territory. As tough as your enemies may be, foolish platforming mishaps will be your greatest adversary. There’s nothing to do but try again until your talents are honed to a brilliant sheen.
The secret weapon in your arsenal is the zoom function, performed by tapping L on your controller or the space bar on the keyboard, which pulls the camera back and gives you a greater view of the terrain and enemy placement. What makes this so invaluable is that enemies remain motionless while off-screen in the normal camera view. That means you’ll almost always have the first-strike advantage if you can hit them with your spear before they have a chance to react.
Even with the zoom, Volgarr is a frustrating experience that taxes your spirit like few others. In particular, there is only a single checkpoint in the middle of each level. Even if you fall to the boss, you’ll be tossed way back to that checkpoint instead of outside the boss chamber. This setup infuriated me at first, but I later realized that by making you replay half the stage, you have the opportunity to max out your equipment and greet the boss at full strength. In its own way, the game is offering the smallest of mercies.
The exception to this is the final stage, which is divided into multiple rooms each with checkpoints at the entrance, including one just before the boss. It’s ironic that after enduring five stages of cutthroat brutality, the last stage would be the most forgiving of all. It almost seems like a letdown… until you realize that the game is only half complete.
There may not be any save files, but it is possible to skip levels that you’ve already completed. However, doing so will prevent you from getting the game’s best ending. If you manage not to lose your equipment in a level and continue to open treasure chests, you’ll eventually start collecting life orbs. Upon beating the boss, you’ll unlock the Path of the Valkyrie, an alternate and more challenging route through the following stage. And only by clearing all the alternate routes will you be able to enter the true final stage.
The Path of the Valkyrie plays by a different set of rules compared to the main game. Those life orbs you collect indicate how many times you’ll be allowed to respawn. Exhaust all your lives and you will be shunted back onto the main path, unable to reenter that level’s alternate route without replaying the previous level again. In other words, there isn’t much room for practice and experimentation on the Path of Valkyrie — you are expected to be a master already.
I don’t mind hardcore difficulty, but the requirements to reach Volgarr‘s finale strike me as just a tad too restrictive. Essentially, you’re being asked to 1CC (one credit clear) the game, or close enough to it, all without ever getting touched once. I’ve never been one to attempt “perfectionist” runs in anything, which require a level of patience and perseverance far beyond that required to enjoy the base game. If I had to draw the line dividing what I’m willing to endure for the sake of enjoyment, that would be it.
That aside, the rest of Volgarr exemplifies the type of experience few games dare to attempt these days. It will humble you, make you feel weak and inadequate. I started playing with great confidence, and within minutes I was reduced to a whimpering mess. I even considered giving up a couple of times, resigning myself to writing a scoreless review. But somehow, in some way, I mustered enough energy to go on. My journey may technically have only just begun, but seeing even a single ending has given me a deep sense of accomplishment.
I understand that not everyone is looking to put their pride on the line with every game they play, but sometimes we need a reminder that games can be a test of skill. What kind of test would it be if the average person could coast along merely by doing the extra credit? By guessing the multiple choice? What kind of hollow victory is that?
Like a drill sergeant, Volgarr the Viking is here to yank us out of our comfort zone and put us through hell unending. If you survive, you’ll feel like the biggest badass of all time.