REPORT: You’re not owed any UMvC3 character!

Destructoid has uncovered some mindblowing news that will shock and awe the gaming community — we have discovered, through serious JOURNALISM, that Capcom does not owe you Mega Man or any other character in Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3

“It’s been an open secret for a long time,” said an industry figure who is definitely not made up. “When we make a videogame, we don’t need permission from fans to put in the characters we want. If Capcom wants to include Firebrand and not Mega Man, based on what will make a more balanced videogame, it can do that, because Capcom’s making the game. Not the fans.”

Our reports show that at least 75% of fans don’t understand that they are not executive producers for the videogames they like, and as such, have no creative control. Studies indicate they also fail to grasp that if their favorite Capcom character isn’t considered good enough for UMvC3, that’s something the industry calls “Tough Shit.”

We’ll have more on this breaking story as it develops, including reports that Capcom isn’t holding a gun to anybody’s cock and forcing them to buy UMvC3 if they don’t like it.

Jim Sterling