Alan Wake has not been released yet. We have no idea how well it will fare. Still, that hasn’t stopped Remedy from jumping the gun and making sure to flog as much Alan Wake merchandise as possible before we even get a chance to find out if the game is any good.
The official Alan Wake store is selling all the sh*t and tat you could need — a range of T-shirts. a hoody, a cap, and even a pair of boxer shorts! Seriously, Alan Wake boxer shorts! That’s not even the most absurd item on the menu, either. The Alan Wake store also sells branded laptop bags, stickers, and flashlights. Yes, Alan Wake flashlights. You have to give Remedy points for relevance, at least.
I do worry that Remedy’s putting the cart before the horse with all this stuff, but who knows? Maybe the game is awesome enough to deserve it, and we’ll be crawling over each other to get this stuff once our minds have been blown. Until that happens, I simply cannot believe this is a serious, real thing I am seeing with my eyes.
