We now have direct confirmation of a disruptor in our midst; one who has acquired an almost messianic reputation in the minds of certain citizens. His figure is synonymous with the darkest urges of asshattery, nonsense, and Fridaying.
Some of the worst excesses of the 160 McNuggets Incident have been laid directly at his feet. And yet, unsophisticated minds continue to imbue him with romantic power, giving him such dangerous poetic labels as the One Free Fridayer, the Opener of the Ramune bottle when you can’t figure out the marble thingy.
Let me remind all citizens of the dangers of magical thinking. We have scarcely begun to climb from the dark pit of our species’ evolution. Let us not slide backward into oblivion, just as we have finally begun to see the light. If you see this so-called Free Fridayer, buy him a beer. Civic deeds do not go unrewarded. And contrariwise, complicity with his cause will not go unpunished. Be wise. Be safe. Be ready to MAGfest.