Ladies and gentlemen, what you are about to view is footage of perhaps the most dangerous Nintendo fan who ever lived. While the delay of Super Smash Bros. has affected many of us in different ways, no man had taken it worse than this wretched soul.
>After this video, in which he promised to be spending Valentine’s Day with Metroid, and desperately declared that Geoffrey the Giraffe has never let his ass down, he left his place of rest, armed only with a plush Yoshi doll and a Wiimote, and raided the local GameStop where he was able to fatally bruise one employee and a small puppy outside before being shot by police. He was declared “pathetic on arrival,” later that evening at the local hospital. He never got to take down Solid Snake with a Smash attack, like he’d longed to all his life.