[Years ago, we thought the console wars were about to restart in earnest. But with Dere as a witness to what has been happening lately, maybe the console wars have been a little one-sided, leading to more than a bit of frustration. Want to see your blogs on the front page? Get to writing! ~Strider]
I’ve learned pretty quickly and many times over that life is full of disappointment. Hey, you get used to it. You learn to live with it and learn what to do next time. I have a disappointment that has recently begun manifesting itself. A disappointment I didn’t realize had happened when I first started. A disappointment that has made me what I affectionately term myself “The Lonely Gamer.”
First and foremost, some of these disappointments have been brought on by nothing but my own stupidity. I have a pretty close relationship with stupid decisions. Just off the top of my head, wearing acid-wash jeans in the year 2000 probably led to my burgeoning virginity at the time.
Another bad decision that could have easily been avoided… buying tickets to a Creed concert to try and impress a girl. A girl that had no interest in me. I got nothing out of this except four hours out of my life that I’ll never get back. Most of those hours were spent listening to CREED!!!
While I’m on a roll here, let’s just ride this train a little longer. Bad decision number three… hindsight, probably shouldn’t have eaten a three bean burrito from the Short Stop before my first date with my wife. I spent as much time with the toilet that night as I did with her. (Probably explains my fixation with the toilet.) The fact she went out with me again was a small miracle and just proves how awesome she is.
Now, to get to this disappointment I was talking about earlier. Again, mostly my mistake here, but about three years ago, I had the amazing decision making prowess that caused me to buy…. an Xbox One. (Cue the horror movie screams.)
I was a very happy Microsoft customer with their previous consoles. I absolutely loved my original Xbox. I spent many hours gaming on that bad boy. So many nights of multiplayer Halo. The amount of people I pissed off with that damn pistol should be written in The Guinness World Record Book. I mean the original Xbox was the first console I bought myself. For me it was like my first car. I absolutely loved it and it loved me back by giving me thousands of gaming hours.
Next came the good ol’ Xbox 360. Once again, Microsoft did not disappoint me. I loved this system. This system helped get me through college. So many people had a 360 and we had many a night that turned into an early morning. The multiplayer gaming and games was just top notch to me at the time. The 360 helped me get through the culture shock that was college.
And now, we fast forward to an unfortunate time approximately three years ago. I had some free money (something I have no clue about today) and it was time for a new system. And in typical Dere fashion, I made a bad decision. I thought hey, Microsoft has done good by me so far with my gaming, I’m going to stick with them. Xbox One it is! Looking back there probably should’ve been some warning signs to me. The big Microsoft exclusives had begun growing stale, the focus on The Kinect (Good God The Kinect). The seeming lack of any direction from the big wigs. Honestly, my best indicator should’ve been that they had named the Xbox One… the Xbox One…. seriously, what in the name of John Travolta is that??? This is the third system in line, they called the second system the 360, how do you go to the One? Honestly they could’ve called it the Xbox Belly Button Lint and it would have been better.
Alas even with all these red flags, I decided the best choice for me was The One. For most of the past three years I’ve defended Microsoft through some horrible decisions and very little exclusive content, but recently it’s just been awful. I’ve been sitting around seeing everyone post awesome stories about awesome games on the PS4 that I’ll never get to play. NieR, Nioh, Persona 5, and Gravity Rush to name a few. While all this is going on I’ve been twiddling my thumbs and playing through Dark Souls 3 22 times… and watching Netflix. And then there’s all the excitement of the Switch. A brand new console filled with excitement and filled with an awesome brand new Zelda. While I’m playing back through greats from the 360… and still watching Netflix.
Along with all these games I don’t get to play, it’s tough to find friends who actually own an Xbox One that I can game with. And hence my new nickname that I have in my infinite wisdom and awesomeness given myself, The Lonely Gamer.
But hey it isn’t all bad. Thanks to Microsoft, I’ve been able to save up my money. Thanks to Microsoft, I’m taking on new hobbies such as quilting and porn. I’ve learned how to cook more than Hot Pockets and porn. I’ve started exercising more…and of course porn.
I still hold out hope that eventually one day, something will happen and I’ll feel much better about the decision I’ve made. Maybe something crazy will happen at the upcoming E3 conference and I’ll be able to laugh and say “I told you so. I know what I’m doing.” I won’t hold my breath. But so you all know, I both hate you and love you for all the wonderful gaming you all are doing and the stories in seeing. I at least get to live vicariously through you all. But just remember when you’re playing your Zeldas and NieRs and Personas, that somewhere out there is The Lonely Gamer playing another round of Dark Souls 3 or watching Netflix or more likely watching porn.