Nintendo: ‘one-of-a-kind’ celestial event coming in September

I knew Nintendo was big and powerful, but you know things are crazy when they start controlling the skies!

Today Nintendo sent out a press release that seems say that they’ll be controlling the heavens on September 18th… in select cities across the US. So they don’t quite have the power of God yet, but they’re getting there. Nintendo says that “evidence points to the reemergence of a luminous entity that citizens from all walks of life will appreciate.”

Peak viewing hours:

• 8:30 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. C.D.T.
• 9:30 a.m. – 1:30 p.m. E.D.T

Now here’s the locations:

• — Kirby Middle School – 1328 28th Street, Birmingham, AL 35234
• — Kirby Historical Mill – 275 Church Road, Medford, NJ 08055
• — Kirby Park – 301 Northampton Street, Kingston, PA 18704
• — Kirby Gate Shopping Center – 6548 Quince, Memphis, TN 38119

Hmm. I wonder what they God could be promoting. Our only other hint is that a “star-filled display” will be viewable.