Nintendo DS as VOIP phone? It’s possible, just not likely

BB over at 1P Start has an interesting article up about something I’ve been thinking on for a long time now; why isn’t the DS a VOIP (voice over IP) phone? With a functional microphone and a wireless connection, it could very easily branch out into that realm of functionality, and VOIP has been done on everything from toasters to Linus Torvalds’ platinum grill.

Of course, the added functionality would come at a cost of $30 dollars or so of research and development on Nintendo’s end, so maybe that’s what’s stopping progress on it. Then again, it’s long been rumored that if you poke Reggie in the belly, he will giggle and vomit forth wads of twenties, so I’m sure they could cover the costs via that quirk of nature.

In the end, I think Nintendo fears the big, bad phone companies who have been trying to push VOIP out of the limelight for years now. Ever wonder why your phone that can connect to any WAP, can’t use that same WAP to dial Skype calls? Verizon would rather sodomize you, and you can be sure T-Mobile and Cingular would be in line with an aluminum tin of lube, just waiting for their chance at your soft, cash-filled rump. As powerful as Nintendo is, the phone companies literally urinate streams of Wii every morning after they stretch (see what I did there?).

The sad conclusion is that while VOIP functionality would be utterly awesome, it won’t happen in this lifetime.

Phone companies, you have just made the list. 

Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.