New Silent Hill announced, it’s a slot machine

Spooky buttons and horrifying coins

Remember that hot new Castlevania pachinko game featuring “erotic violence?”

Well, I’m guessing the reception was so positive that Konami decided to announce a new Silent Hill slot machine. Hurray! Just what we have been asking for!

I suppose we should all stop hoping these series will ever be anything worth our time or money again. Rest in peace Castlevania, P.T., Silent Hill, Silent Hills, and Metal Gear Solid; and screw you, Konami.

Jed Whitaker