More Wii brutality. It’s like the Hindenburg, only with more humanity! [Update!]

A few minutes ago, the bright red Destructophone started ringing off it’s hook with a hot tip from a reader of ours named Anders. It seems that Anders has gone the way of televisions, laptops and most recently spouses, in that he has become the victim of Wii violence.

Hit the jump for a quote from the victim and whatever stupid commentary I had about this thing.

[UPDATE: I started writing about this tip at 5:30am my time after staying up all night and I was bleary eyed and sick and had been drinking for 3 hours, so you can imagine how this being a Photoshop job slipped by me. Thankfully, our resident robot-cum-graphics designer, Niero, picked up on it immediately. In his epic wisdom, he decided that we should leave this up so that we can all laugh at this guy, and also because if it had really been a Wiinjury, this article would have been the finest authority on the subject.]

Anders explains it better than I can, do I give you the text of the email he sent us;

hey guys, recently got my nintendo wii and have had a really, really bad experience with it. i was playing wii sports boxing with my brother and we were playing in a pretty small room. the idiot go so into the action and tried to side swipe my character when his nunchuk hit me in my right eye. i have an absolutely massive bloody black eye and can hardly even open it. to top it off, about 5 minutes later he was playing on his own when the wii remote shot out of his hand and hit the tv. its only a cheap crt, but he’s put a dark patch in it from the impact. anyway, thought i may as well let others get a kick out of my mishaps…


Anders, we feel for you pal. Rob Summa is drawing up papers for you right now so you can sue Nintendo for “gross negligence, endangerment of human life, and sucking his balls”. You can see the damage he spoke of in the pictures that accompany this post. Anders’ eye injury is above and the Wii-on-TV smashup is below. 

It’s just horrifying to know that these kinds of “accidents” happen with such frequency. It’s only a matter of time before people are using the Wiimote to incite riots and race wars. It will be just like Compton, 1992 all over again, except this time, Reginald Denny will get his head smashed in with a game controller instead of a brick. 

[UPDATE: If you would like to express your displeasure with Anders for attempting to defraud Destructoid and the entire Internet, he can be reached at [email protected]]

About The Author
Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.
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