Left 4 Dead’s survivors evidently visit 4chan a lot

You should admire “Crash Course,” the new versus-focused bit of Left 4 Dead DLC, for several reasons. A few of those are obvious — it’s free, it’s well-paced, etcetera — but I was awfully surprised to see some wonderfully message board-esque humor adorning the walls of the campaign’s second saferoom.

You can see a larger picture in the gallery below, but it seems that more than a few trolls survived Crash Course before Zoey and Francis ever showed up. Reacting to a heart-wrenchingly genuine farewell poem written by a woman named Alison to her deceased loved one, Jonathan, numerous other survivors reply with comments worthy of the /b/ message board: “QQ,” one reads. “Cool story bro,” says another. 

Left 4 Dead‘s safehouse messages have always been pretty damn funny, but hell if Crash Course’s don’t take the cake. I’ve long admired Valve for understanding their audience better than most companies (“OMGWTFBBQ” is still my favorite Team Fortress 2 achievement), but the pitch-perfect tone of Crash Course’s script still pleasantly surprised me.

Hit the jump for a transcript of the wall writings if you can’t make them out from the screenie.

Jonathan,

You have touched my very being. I shall remember you.

You taught all that knew you what courage meant

And have shown us an example in death as you did in life.

God give me strength in my life without you. 

And I shall thank her. 

I can only hope that our souls shall intwi  entwine again

In that place where there is only love, no tears, no sadness,

No injustice, no cruelty, no white, no black, 

No hate, no war, only love

Only love

      Alison

 

Presumably, all the comments making fun of Alison’s poem are still readable. “PS DON’T TELL ALISON” is my favorite, personally.

Anthony Burch