Last week, we asked you to be our Dtoid cheerleaders in order to win a box full of Lollipop Chainsaw goodies. The results were a mix of hilarious, disturbing, and … well, more disturbing.
Sadly, only ten of you could walk away with the prize. Congrats to jessalynzo, Keyrlis, ladyzaner, linzbot, Shadowstew, solidturtleman, Sparklykiss, The Silent Protagonist, TheFrozenOne, and trueb7ue for your winning entries! Check your emails ASAP for info on how to claim your prizes!
In the meantime, read on to see the winning cheers!
jessalynzo:
C’mon San Romero let’s take it to the top!
Let’s go, Let’s fight, Let’s kill tonight
Juliet, Rosalind and Cordelia defend the human world!
Let’s go, Let’s fight, Let’s spill blood tonight
We don’t need love,
We just need blood!
Let’s go! (clapclapclap)
Let’s fight! (clapclapclap)
We’ll fill him with worms tonight!!!!
Keyrlis:
She’s the girl with a head to give!
She won’t let these dead…un-live!
San Romero! Go, Knights, go!
Cheerleader hero, <panty shot> OH!
Juliet, from Suda’s brain,
Your curves erect the dead again!
ladyzaner:
I’ve got lollies
I’ve got tits
Time to slice some zombie bits!
Go team!
linzbot:
THAT’S HAMZA! THAT’S HIM!
THE ONE WITH THE FIN!
HE’S SHARP.. THAT SHARK!
ALWAYS ON THE MARK!
ZOMBIES! WATCH OUT!
HIS MOVES, DON’T EVEN DOUBT!
THE SHARK! WITH JAWS!
SHARP AS 100 CHAINSAWS!
GOOOOOO HAMZA!
Shadowstew:
ALL RIGHT! LET’S DO THIS.
*Space Jam Theme plays*
*Dtoid cheerleaders come out of an entrance with suspiciously looks like a Dtoid staff member’s anus. I won’t tell you who. It’s a surprise!*
GIMME AN CHAIN!
(Clap clap clap)
Give me a SAW!
(Clap clap clap)
LEND ME A YOUR!
(Clap clap clap)
Bring me COCKS!
(Clap clap clap)
What’s that say!
CHAINSAW YOUR COCKS!
WE WANT TO CHAINSAW YOUR COCKS!
*Huge explosion of corgis appear out of nowhere*
*Smoke appears with the head Dtoid cheerleader slowly taking off the helmet*
(It reveals…)
Juliet Starling! With a decapitated head…
Of her boyfriend.
*Smoke clears*
They are standing on Willem Dafoe!
Suda 51 walks on stage announcing the Lollipop Chainsaw movie adaptation staring Willem Dafoe as The Floor.
solidturtleman:
LOLLIPOP! LOLLIPOP!
WE’ll SUCK YOU!
WE’ll PUT YOU IN OUR MOUTH AND CHEW CHEW CHEW!
Sparklykiss:
Zombie Hunter, Zombie Hunter!
Hack, slash, chop!
Zombie Hunter, Zombie Hunter!
Hack, slash, chop!
Cordelia with the rifle, Rosalind drives the bus, Juliet’s got the chainsaw to really eff you up!
Zombie Hunter, Zombie Hunter!
Hack, slash, chop!
Zombie Hunter, Zombie Hunter!
Hack, slash, chop!
The Silent Protagonist:
Zombie victims will get ate
cheerleaders decapitate!
Chainsaw left, chainsaw right
zombie slay all day and night!
Dismemberment is super fun
San Romero’s number one!
TheFrozenOne:
Zombies, Zombies Go Away!
You better run cause I don’t play,
I’ll grab my saw and swing it ’round,
then your head will hit the ground.
Here’s your chance now take it fast,
cause the sight of me will be your last,
Time is up, did you heed my call?
I’m coming now to re-end you all.
trueb7ue:
Nick, Nick, he’s my man
Can’t do shit, but hey, I can!
Do the splits and kick real high,
Come here, zombies, don’t be shy!
Rev my chainsaw, whatchu got??
Come and get it, I’m smokin’ hot.
Rainbows, sparkles, glitter, ‘n hearts
Say good-bye to your body parts!
Lick my lolly, hike up my skirt
Get ready, bitch, it’s gonna hurt. š
The name’s Juliet, I don’t fuck around
Lollipop Chainsaw, my gory playground
