First CarousHELL trailer is everything that’s right with movies

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Most anticipated film of 2019

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How can a sentient carousel unicorn kill a group of unsuspecting youths? Oh, let me count the ways: by cleaver, by horn, by hoof, by car, by axe, by arrow, by pizza cutter, and by laser vision of course. It seems no method is too over-the-top or ludicrous for this carnival killing machine, and I couldn’t be happier to see it.

Hearkening shots from classics like The Shining and HalloweenCarousHELL is indeed poised to grab the golden ring and win first prize for being the clearly best idea anyone’s ever had for a film.

I just love this so much. The little fedora-wearing punk who rubbed his boogers in the unicorn’s eye deserves everything he, his sister, and any losers willing to associate with them gets here. Anyone who could sympathize with them over this super-powered fair ride from hell is a monster. Fuck Avengers, this is what filmmaking is all about.

CarousHELL is due to release some time in 2019, and it can’t come soon enough.

 


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