ESRB: Resident Evil 6 features hybridized spider-boobs

It’s been ages since we had a good ESRB rating story, but America’s guardians have delivered the goods once more. As usual, we’ve got a rating for an M-rated game and, as usual, it makes said game sound delightful … in a kind of psychopathic way. So, how will Resident Evil 6 traumatize us?

“Battles contain realistic gunfire, screams of pain, and exaggerated blood splatter effects; some attacks result in dismemberment or decapitation (e.g., slowly inserting a monster’s body into a rotating fan blade),” reads the squicky summary. “Cutscenes also depict intense acts of violence: a zombie getting stabbed in the head; characters getting pummeled/impaled by monsters.”

That’s not all! Read on below for the (spoiler-ish) reveal of a previously unknown boss. It involves spiders getting sexy, because that’s not horrifying in any way!

“One female boss character (a human-spider hybrid) is depicted nude — though without any discernible details (i.e., no nipples or genitalia); during one attack move, she briefly caresses her breasts while straddling on players’ character. The words ‘f**k’ and ‘sh*t’ can be heard in the dialogue.”

Fantastic! Sex and every single nightmare you’ve ever had — together at last!

Here is the full rating, for your viewing displeasure: 

This is a third-person shooter in which players assume the role of characters caught up in a worldwide viral outbreak.

As players navigate intersecting storylines, they use machine guns, shotguns, melee weapons, and explosives to kill mutated zombie creatures in frenetic combat. Battles contain realistic gunfire, screams of pain, and exaggerated blood splatter effects; some attacks result in dismemberment or decapitation (e.g., slowly inserting a monster’s body into a rotating fan blade).

Cutscenes also depict intense acts of violence: a zombie getting stabbed in the head; characters getting pummeled/impaled by monsters. One female boss character (a human-spider hybrid) is depicted nude — though without any discernible details (i.e., no nipples or genitalia); during one attack move, she briefly caresses her breasts while straddling on players’ character.

The words “f**k” and “sh*t” can be heard in the dialogue.

Jim Sterling