EGM gives Elebits a 4, eats kittens for breakfast

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Now that you’ve all had a chance to hate us over a certain recently-posted review, I thought I’d show some similar love for our brothers-in-arms over at EGM, who recently gave Elebits — currently, my favorite reason to own a Wii — scores of 4, 4.5, and 7. For those not hip to EGM’s score breakdown, 4 means bad, as you’ll note in this scan of the review.

Lots of you didn’t dig the score that the good Reverend gave Zelda. I can’t say I agreed either — I was the sap that gave it an 8.5, and even that was probably displeasing to a lot of Zelda fans. 8.5, though, doesn’t mean unplayable. It doesn’t even mean not good. What 8.5 means, for me, is great but certainly not perfect. It means “room for improvement”. 4, on the other hand, means bad, which Elebits ain’t. As per usual, my best evidence for this is Summa, who despite an otherworldly hatred for all things Nintendo found it in his wooden heart to embrace and enjoy Elebits. Two of three EGM editors reviewing the game, however, have labelled it “bad”.

To put some perspective on the issue, EGM’s average for Elebits (around 5.2) set the game alongside the likes of Happy Feet, Cars, and The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. The evidence is stacked up against you, EGM, and there is only one conclusion I can draw from it: one or more of you is friggin’ lying.

More angry stamping of feet after the jump.

Look here, EGM: Elebits is not a port, or the latest license churn-out. It’s not a slightly tweaked and barely revamped title that was already fine on a last-gen system, either. It’s a solid, fun, creative game that really shows what the Wii is capable of, moreso than any of the other titles currently on the market. Were it available at launch, it would’ve been a better first-buy than Zelda, because it’s a game that, honestly and truly, simply couldn’t be on any other system.

You’re familiar, I’m sure, with the growing trend of writers lambasting otherwise decent titles with horrible scores. Even if they’re entirely honest, they still bring in scores of angry readership, like you, or yours truly in this case. I’m all for telling it like it is, and I’ll sing Rev Anthony’s praises for his unabashed honesty ’til the day one of you clubs him to death with a baguette, but his write-up ain’t going to hurt Zelda’s sales. Crapping all over Elebits, on the other hand, just might kill what momentum it’s got going, and I’d call that irresponsible. It’s a shame, especially when one considers just how awesome Elebits really is. Flawed? Yeah. But not bad.

Don’t buy ports, don’t waste time with crap games, and don’t listen to EGM on this one. Trust me. Elebits is worth your money and perhaps one of the best experiences currently available for the Wii. Buy it and send a message to developers and publishers alike that we won’t stand for ports of pre-existing titles with dumbed-down gameplay mechanics, crap graphics, and gimped multiplayer. Wii is a tradeoff: less horsepower, more gameplay. Elebits is perhaps the first manifestation of this implicit agreement. Let’s hope for more.


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