You awaken in a darkened room. The bed below you seems to be made of unkempt straw, and as you struggle to gather your wits about you, the jagged ends of the stuffing etch a sea of red dots into the side of your leg.
Looking to your left you spot your Luger, a glass of water, and a Sonic the Hedgehog plush doll; to your right lies a still-sleeping woman. You want to think her name is Mona, but you have no recollection of where you would have learned her name, where you would have met her, or how you ended up sleeping next to her in a room that smells vaguely of ammonia and honey.
Standing, you pull your shirt and pants on before dropping to your knees next to the nightstand. It didn’t strike you until just now exactly how horrid you felt, but as a torrent of vaguely digested food springs forth from your mouth, you have a new appreciation for the angst of teenage girls. As you scan the room a second time, mostly to keep your mind off of the waves of nausea, you decide amnesia is a fate best left to soap opera actors and the elderly.
To awaken and question the mysterious woman, turn to page 24!
To look for an exit from the room, turn to page 72!
To play with the Sonic the Hedgehog plush doll while gently humming the theme song from Green Hill Zone, turn to page 13!
To find out what the editors have been playing this week, turn to page DIRECTLY BELOW THIS SENTENCE!
Faith:
I’ve been playing Brain Age on the Nintendo DS every day since Monday and now I’ll be prepared if I ever need to quickly count people running in and out of a house. Also I’m still playing LOTR: Battle for Middle Earth 2 on the Xbox360 and Phoenix Wright on the Nintendo DS. I’m thinking of buying Guitar Hero II for Xbox 360. I feel I need to expand my air guitar skills into something more fulfilling like multiple button mashing and whammy bar usage. I will play Freebird on expert mode perfectly one day.
Rev. Anthony:
Since my friends came back to town, I’ve been doing a lot of Super Mario Strikers and Super Smash Bros Melee. When not doing that, I’m playing one of a half-dozen PS2 games I’ve beaten eighteen times before.
Ron Workman:
I have played a lot. First, I got to bring home some prizes from the Wing Commander Arena tourney which is hot. Then I accidentally won a match of Bomberman Live against the Dtoid crew. I went on a rampage of arcade games. I just have far too many unlocked achievements out there. Played a lot of racing this week also. Peter North’s Double Dare for the Wii, Forza 2 and NFS Most Wanted on the 360. I am getting some use out of that MS steering wheel I “just had to have.” Why aren’t there porn games?
Jim Sterling:
I played a little Dynasty Warriors 5: Empires, mostly to mop up a few stupidly easy achievements, though I really am ready for a new game now. Outside of that, it’s pretty much been Live Arcade games from here ’til suppertime. As well as a whole bunch of trials to deduce the games I’m never going to buy, I picked up Castlevania: Symphony of the Night which is … a pain in the arse. Good lord, hard for the sake of hard annoys me. I’m also currently using eBay to pick up bad games I wouldn’t otherwise pay standard secondhand prices for. Thus far, my bids for Bullet Witch have been unsuccessful.
Dale North:
This week it’s been a pretty even balance between two games. Resident Evil 4 for the Wii seems to keep calling me back – I think the control is absolutely perfect. The other is the gorgeous Odin Sphere, which I just picked up a week ago but cannot put down.
Dick McVengeance:
I’ve been playing a bit of Oblivion for the PS3 when Aaron isn’t mercilessly whipping me to play Persona 3. Now that I’m off in Boston at the time of this article hitting the page, I’ll have been playing a bunch of Hotel Dusk, after getting it from Goozex.
BlindsideDork:
Since I have been packing and moving into my new place, I haven’t had much time to play any video games. I did get some Bomberman Live in and one horrible game of Gears of War in, but mainly I have been going at Rebelstar: Tactical Command on the train. It’s pretty sweet, after a few missions it almost literally turns into an X-Com for your GBA by letting you select what equipment you want each character to carry and then deploy them. A turn-based strategy fans wet dream come true!
Nick Chester:
This feels so weird just typing this: NASCAR 2008 for the Xbox 360. I don’t have anything to say about this yet, but I’ve learned a) who in the hell Richard Petty is and b) that driving around in a circle is much harder than it looks.
I’ve also been hopelessly addicted to one of these EA Pogo games, Lottso! Deluxe on the PC, which is kind of like bingo meets lotto ticket scratch offs. In theory, it sounds throwaway, and you’d think my time would be better spent playing any number of other games. But I can’t stop playing it until I unlock all of the casinos on the map. Also: picked up Guitar Hero II 360 again, and I’m still slowly playing Ninja Gaiden Sigma.
Savant:
If my “Games of the Week” were made into some sort of old-timey screenplay, it would be called “Two Betas are Betta Than One” with all the rag and not a whole lot of time. As I have masterfully alluded to, I am currently involved with two betas which I have been playing on the weekends.
The first is the Fury beta which has since opened its doors to all comers. The game runs like crap on my current system, but is exactly what a PvP-focused MMO should be. Second, I’ve been cleaning my slate with Tabula Rasa (didja see what I did there?) Another promising game that I have nothing but love for at this point.
Last, but not least, is a cornucopia of Xbox 360 euphoria. I’m not going to list them all, but I’ve definitely been logging some serious time in the Arcade. (Joe Burling’s Geometry Wars score is going down.)
Leigh Alexander:
I played MapleStory for the first time ever this week; it reminds me of my beloved old Hudson Soft sidescrollers with the bright cute Japanese faces. Other than that, it’s Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, whenever I come up for air from Persona 3. I am now learning to make Delicious Cake for my Pokeymans, and they must eat it.
Nex:
After watching a 2AM showing of Clash of the Titans this last week, I finally forced myself to go out and pick up God of War. I’d played a bit of the sequel and had never played the first, and I’m utterly stunned at how rad it is. If I had to make a rushed, lame comparison between the two ancient epics, I’d say God of War is to Clash of the Titans as mommy-daughter porn is to Playboy. Both will fulfill that certain jonesin’ you might have for the particular topic, but with the former, you end up being fulfilled all over yourself, the wall behind you, and your cat.
Topher Cantler:
My crappy day job left room for lots of import love on my DS this week with Tingle in Rupee land (just as batshit as I thought it would be), Square-Enix’s It’s a Wonderful World, FFXII: Revenant Wings, Taiko no Tatsujin DS (that addictive drum thingy), and poking boobs in DokiDoki Majo Shinpan. I’ve also been trying to finish up Touch Detective.
As for games that don’t fit in my pocket, I enjoyed some Forza 2 online with Ron and Droobies, and actually had my first win ever in Bomberman Live, mostly because everyone was busy attacking Grim .
.tiff:
I managed to ninja my younger brother’s 360 for a few solitary minutes to play Bomberman Live but was quickly sidetracked by mid3vol’s sexy space suit and consequentially didn’t end up playing that much that night. Meanwhile I’m still grinding away at Elite Beat Agents. Turns out it’s quite the energizing conduit to kick-off my mornings while on my way to work. Yatta!
Colette Bennett:
Bomberman LIVE, Overlord, and Secret of Mana on my PSP. I loveeee that delicious little PSP. If I could, I would eat it.
Gameboi:
First I’d like to say that I’m proud of Nick for taking the time to test the NASCAR waters this week. Uncle Jesse and the rest of us country folk down here in Hazzard County are mighty proud of you. Tonight, we shall square dance and eat possum in your honor. As far as games go, it’s been a light week for me.
Still missing that 360, and toying around with a couple games such as Maximo and Killzone, but nothing serious. I had my heart set on doing a few laps around the left-turn only track myself this week — but missed out on it for obvious reasons. To add insult to injury, Microsoft emailed me wondering if I still need my Xbox 360 repaired, since they haven’t heard from me or seen the one I sent them. Never mind that I just received the box yesterday. Can somebody remind me again why I crack on Sony so much? My memory is getting a bit foggy as of late.
To let us know what games you’ve been playing this week, use the comments below!
