Crecente demos first Brutal Legend track, reveals himself to be 700 years old

Not content to merely report news, Brian “Apparently Old Enough To Be My Dad” Crecente opted to wag the dog earlier by posting a video over at Kotaku in which he plays a record sent to him as a promotion for Tim Schafer’s upcoming très mysterious title Brütal Legend.

Aside from rocking hard enough to resurrect really sexy zombie women — possibly with nefarious intentions — the Jack-Black-led track sets the tone for the title as reveling in everything butt rock. If you’ve ever described Foghat as “frickin’ awesome” or drawn anatomically inaccurate pictures of barbarians on the cover of your Trapper Keeper notebook while wondering why you spent last weekend running your two closest friends through the lair of a Beholder instead of “totally scoring” this thing should be the answer to all of your prayers.

Then again, it’s all probably ironic on some level, so everything I just said was completely facetious. Seriously. What? You thought I was fer reals? Pff!

This is why you don’t get to smoke with us after drama class. 

Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.