Promoted from our Community Blogs
Welcome back to Comments of the Week! Your host, the lovely and enigmatic Dreamweaver, is back for yet another round of delicious comments, cut straight from the articles themselves! I’m sorry, I did try to get them as fresh as possible, but you’d be surprised how silent people get when you ask if you can stick a knife in their throats. Anyway, whether you’ve been out and about, or simply want to go back in time and change the course of history by staring into these comment clips, then this is for you! As always, comments are categorized into three divisions:
TRUTH: The average groundhog is 20 inches long and normally weighs from 12 to 15 pounds.
LOL: Just like my penis, ladies.
WUT?: How on Earth am I still single? 😛
In case you’re just waking up from your hibernation because of all the snow lately, you’ll want to head back into the past and check out last week’s Comments of the Week. There’s nothing better than watching your fellow Dtoiders go crazy from the cold!
Dreamweaver: This man speaks the truth!
Dreamweaver: I’ve yet to play a videogame — that wasn’t pornographic — where we can see a woman’s vagina. I feel like that’s an… untapped market.
Dreamweaver: Mighty No-rphin’ Power Rangers!
Okay, one of us messed this up, but I’m not sure who it was…
Dreamweaver: This also applies to the advanced fapping technique, “edging.”
Dreamweaver: …A prelude to an awesome porn video?
Dreamweaver: …So you’re saying Warner Brothers is lying to us once again?
Dreamweaver: So we’re halfway there! 😀
Dreamweaver: Good for his lady friends, too!
Dreamweaver: If you wanna control time, just move the minute hand on the clock.
Dreamweaver: …People take less than six years to finish high school?
Dreamweaver: Only because the human trafficking business is in high demand but low supply!
Dreamweaver: Talk about conceited.
Dreamweaver: Reminds me of the boxes of cheap pregnancy tests I give to all my hookers. Maybe I should’ve included the actual pregnancy test.
Dreamweaver: I was thinking more “looks like these felines are fe-FINES, amright?”
Dreamweaver: I wonder if they make ultrasonic dildos…
Dreamweaver: It’s gonna be legend — wait for it…
Dreamweaver: — dary!
Dreamweaver: I can see how someone could get that mixed up.
Dreamweaver: Does that saying apply when you’re pissed off?
Dreamweaver: …This got awkward, real fast.
Dreamweaver: We’re trying to ignore you, but you’re making it a lot harder than it needs to be!
Dreamweaver: Would transexuals somehow fix that problem?
Dreamweaver: I got a K-minus on my report card once. It wasn’t a typo.
Dreamweaver: Still not Matt Damon tho’.
Dreamweaver: I’m the opposite. When I have low self-esteem, I watch Queen of Spade videos and feel inadequate.
Dreamweaver: …What are you doing tonight?
Dreamweaver: Well, that was his piss-take.
Dreamweaver: They love the “c” yet they still get scurvy. *rimshot*
Dreamweaver: “I didn’t know you could make… sex… in… But.”
Dreamweaver: Why aren’t you powering the graphics of my Xbox One then?
Dreamweaver: Alright, but hurry back. The suspense is killing me.
Dreamweaver: I thought we’re trying NOT to get the man elected!
From Review: The Witness
Dreamweaver: The hit movie, The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down, gets a sequel: The Bus Driver Who Couldn’t Stay Awake.
Dreamweaver: Rebecca Black = We beck da black. Sounds kinky.
Dreamweaver: Who watches the Pikachu?
Dreamweaver: So, it’s one “Pika” for no, two “Pika” for yes?
Dreamweaver: I hope it’s my balls. Nina can beat the fuck out of me any day.
Dreamweaver: There’s a “Redix” joke in there somewhere.
Dreamweaver: If we need to an ultrasound, can we also use an ultrasonic sword for surgery? I feel like we need to keep a theme.
Dreamweaver: I’m going to assume you took the picture from the front for our benefit.
Dreamweaver: They’re considered a delicacy in Red Light Districts.
Dreamweaver: What if the ants have finally begun their assault against humanity by posing as words on laptops and books? We’d never see them coming.
And that’s it for this edition, folks! I hope you had a good time getting your ass eaten! Remember, screaming only ruins the dining experience.