Comments of the Week: Alive once again!

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[I missed last week and was considering going cold turkey. But the last entry in this week’s Comments of the Week is too good. It alone deserves to be promoted. Let Dreamweaver guide you the rest of the way. Be sure to be as awesome as the commenters below and you might make CotW! -Striderhoang]

Welcome back to another round of the revived Comments of the Week series! Whether you’re a first-time viewer or a seasoned vet, you can probably figure out what this is about from the name alone… yet I’m going to spell it out for you anyway because I’m a jerk like that: Comments of the Week is a showcase where I select what I believe to be a great sample of the wacky antics that the Destructoid community gets into! So, if you’ve been busy with your life, or you have been around Destructoid and can’t be everywhere at once, then this is to cover your bases!

As always, comments will be put into three (count them), THREE categories!

TRUTH: you about to learn!

LOL: you about to laugh!

WUT?: you about to lump!

Lump? Yeah, sorry, my language of the letter L is in limited luxury so live with liking the long lump, you lone lucky lugs, you.

Oh, before we get started, because the previous entry didn’t make the front page, it was a cblog exclusive, so here’s a link to last week’s edition!

Welp, the past is the past, let’s get started with this week’s!

From Here are some comparison shots for the Smash Bros. and Mario Party amiibo lines

Dreamweaver: Luigi’s hips don’t lie.

From Try to count the bullets in Battlefield Hardline’s launch trailer

Dreamweaver: I guess you could say… it was just a Tuesday?

From Review: Resident Evil: Relevations 2: Episode 3

Dreamweaver: See, guys, the giant spikes on the ceiling?

From Dead or Alive 5’s second ninja pack: $15 for 10 costumes

Dreamweaver: So… it’s a wardrobe malfunction?

From Remember Me 2 is written, Capcom just has to give the nod

Dreamweaver: If this happens, I hope it’s released during the month of September.

From Naughty Dog: Uncharted 4 delayed until spring 2016

Dreamweaver: This, all of this, is true.

Dreamweaver: This, all of this, is true.

From Mortal Kombat X brings back some familiar faces for Story Mode

Dreamweaver: That’s how Johnny Cage teaches his daughter where babies come from!

From Jason Voorhees konfirmed for Mortal Kombat X

Dreamweaver: Just saying, one character was a guy in a mo-cap suit!

From One screen of ODST in Master Chief Collection sums up the past four months

Dreamweaver: You let developers get away with it and you’re just enabling them to do it again.

From Killer Instinct’s Hisako looks like one of the most unique fighters yet

Dreamweaver: I hate that that’s the reason we don’t get another Darkstalkers. I can’t tell you how much I’d love to see Lord Raptor and my personal favorite, B.B. Hood, in 3D.

From Meet the third ever employee of LucasArts right now

Dreamweaver: This is why Chist is a cat person: he likes to ruin their nine lives one at a time, like picking the petals off of flowers.

From Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes is a brilliant asymmetrical game

Dreamweaver: Virtual reality’s getting too real!

From Killer Instinct’s Hisako looks like one of the most unique fighters yet

Dreamweaver: I’d like to Kinect with Hisako, if you know what I mean. With my penis.

From Severed is full of one-handed vengeance

Dreamweaver: Rolling the dice is now the new choking the chicken!

From Onechanbara Z2 strikes a PS4 near you this summer

Dreamweaver: Is… is that why my parents are so ashamed of me? *hugs waifu pillow*

From Steam controller and FPS PAX East 2015 impressions

Dreamweaver: Comment funny. Laugh.

From Escalator Pitch: Armello dev goes all in on escalator etiquette

Dreamweaver: Boy, that escalated quickly.

From This War of Mine DLC exists solely to help the kids

Dreamweaver: The Laughing Owl’s comment is among one of my favorites this week!

From Harebrained Schemes nails it once again with Necropolis

Dreamweaver: Once, I talked to myself in public. I became the center of attention until these guys in white suits took me away! I think they were jealous because I had voices in my head and they didn’t.

From Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel’s Claptastic Voyage trailer shows glitch guns, confetti

Dreamweaver: I say, I say, stay away from me.

From Guilty Gear Xrd’s newest patch will address the netcode

Dreamweaver: I got a job for Bridget that’s not safe for work.

Dreamweaver: His superhero name is Torchman, not Incredible Hulk!

From Homefront: The Revolution delayed into 2016

Dreamweaver: The only things they dominate are MMOs and MOBAs, both of which they are scarily good at!

From Paula Deen’s butter matching mobile game has a nightmare trailer

Dreamweaver: …That’s not milk she’s pouring, is it?

From Street Fighter V gets a release date

Dreamweaver: I’m totally going to use these the next Chinese New Year!

From Final Fantasy XV looks great and feels even better

Dreamweaver: I think me and Kim Jong-il would like to disagree with you.

From Vote now for Dtoid’s PAX East 2015 community choice Award

Dreamweaver: Little did Gajknight know, that’s secretly what Andy Dixon looks like without his pink bathrobe.

From ESRB reveals why Batman: Arkham Knight was rated M

Dreamweaver: Even the nipples?

From Xbox One gets a $350 Halo: The Master Chief Collection bundle

Dreamweaver: How did we ever buy consoles with games like these back then?

Dreamweaver: Ask him if it was worth it. I’m seeing a succubus next week!

From Firewatch has topless teen, meaty hands, and mystery

Dreamweaver: I’m sorry, man, I thought it was totally consensual. Come visit more often: all that pent up sexual frustration makes me act out.

From Review: Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number

Dreamweaver: Just looking at the comment gives me a headache!

From Game News Haikus: Gigantic, Borderlands, sex, and more

Dreamweaver: That is the second most epic thing I’ve seen this week!

From Bravely Second’s trailer shows off additional features

Dreamweaver: … So, that’s a no?

From A Titanfall sequel is coming and surprise, it will be multiplatform

Dreamweaver: Occams be killing it this week and by it, I don’t means balls. Speaking of…

From 3D Realms Bombshell is the only one who could kick Duke Nukem’s ass

Dreamweaver: I’d ask him to drop the mic, but we saw what happens when he does that.

There is no better way to end than with that! So, thank you for tuning in, hope you guys enjoyed yourselves, and remember that YOU too can join in on the fun: it’s just a comment away!


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