Comments of the Week #74 – E3 2016 edition

Winky face!

Hey, there, Destructoid! What’s good? What’s happening? You know that E3 was last week, so there’s a chance with all of the press conferences to watch, or all of the videogame news to follow, that you couldn’t have possibly visited every single article, much less the comment sections. I mean, you have to be some kind of no-life loser to go through all that.

Yo, that’s why I’m here! Welcome back to Comments of the Week! For those of you just joining us for the first or 74th time, this is THE community showcase that compiles all of the best comments that you, the people, have said over the week. So if you want to see just how funny and crazy we are so you know which one of us to keep an eye on (I hear that Dreamweaver is one perverted son of a bitch), or maybe you were one of the crazy people yourselves, then this is for you! As always, you can find comments sorted into three categories below:

TRUTH: Taco Bell originally started a hamburger joint called Bell’s Hamburgers and Hot Dogs, but since it opened in a Hispanic neighborhood, tacos became its primary item.

LOL: it just shows that good business is all about location.

WUT?: the same logic also applies to hookers.

In case you missed last week’s version of Comments of the Week, you can check it out right here for all of your viewing pleasure. Man, is it just me, or are we all sexy beings?

Yeah, it’s probably just me.


From Is the Xbox One S Microsoft’s new console?

Dreamweaver: Hi, Adorable! I’m Dreamweaver!

From Don’t Starve creators will announce ‘something new’ at E3

Dreamweaver: I’ll wait for the prequel “Something old” and the sequels, “Something borrowed” and “Something blue”.

From Everything that happened at Bethesda’s pretty alright E3 2016 press conference

Dreamweaver: Like this?

From Watch Dogs 2 looks alright, but do we really need a Watch Dogs film?

Dreamweaver: But think about the potential porn parodies!

From The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild will heavily focus on technology and loot

Dreamweaver: Saints Row says hi, but I see your penis.

From Xbox’s new Play Anywhere initiative doesn’t necessarily include cross-play

Dreamweaver: Because it wouldn’t be Destructoid without Chris Carter showing up somewhere.

From PSA: A few of the new Mario amiibo might be rare

Dreamweaver: Because fuck you, I want in on this edition too!

From Are you picking up Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse?

Dreamweaver: What a coincidence: that’s the same poll used for “Would you vote for Donald Trump?”

From No, there is no female Link in Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Dreamweaver: So if I’m a vagina man… I’m also an ass man? Whaaaaaat?

Dreamweaver: There probably is, but who the hell goes into museums nowadays?

Dreamweaver: Too bad this isn’t Pokemon because that needs an Burn Heal.


From Resident Evil 7 demo is here, is PS VR compatible

Dreamweaver: We both know Leon’s not allowed back in Spain.

Dreamweaver: That’s what I say everytime I drive by an orphan.

From As expected, Battleborn is getting microtransactions

Dreamweaver: Is she free this Tuesday?

Dreamweaver: Indeed. Lying only causes people to laugh at you.

Dreamweaver: …I get it now!

From Ugly new foldable Rock Band 4 guitar for $69, new DLC bundles

Dreamweaver: Well, what the fuck am I? Chopped liver?

From Why Square Enix delayed NieR: Automata

Dreamweaver: Get out, and don’t come back until NieR: Automata comes out.

From Digital Norman Reedus is a crybaby who holds stuff

Dreamweaver: Even his avatar couldn’t stop smirking.

Dreamweaver: Does he name his dangly bits Norman Peetus?

From Here’s what you thought of every major 2016 E3 press conference – EA loses big, Sony wins big

Dreamweaver: “their shift at Wendy’s ends in like 10 minutes so I’ll just wait it out.”

Sounds like the beginning to all my dates with a hooker named Wendy.

From E3 political activist has a point

Dreamweaver: When the crackhead agrees with you, you’re probably doing something right.

Dreamweaver: He’s not talking about the band either.

From The new God of War brings welcomed humanity to its violent god

Dreamweaver: He looks like… a stoner.

From Review: Hyper X Cloud Revolver headset

Dreamweaver: An audiophile.

Clearly, you are not.

From Original Xbox One now selling for $279 with free extra controller

Dreamweaver: Can’t top that.

From Ha, ThinkGeek is doing a Proto Man Buster replica too

Dreamweaver: You’re both wrong, it’s art!


From Kingdom Hearts feels right at home on Unreal 4

Dreamweaver: No WonderSwan? Fricking exclusives, man.

From Final Fantasy XV has won me over

Dreamweaver: If only we could be so lucky to find that special someone that makes everything feel baller.

From Today’s Overwatch patch nerfs McCree’s alt fire, slightly tweaks Widowmaker

Dreamweaver: Damn it, they always cut if off at the good part.

From Well, at least I know the boy doesn’t die in The Last Guardian

Dreamweaver: I can honestly say exactly three people will see this coming.

From Bungie slept with wolves for Destiny

Dreamweaver: He makes the bitches howl.

Bitches love to howl.

From Paper Mario: Color Splash draws ire of Nintendo fans, looks alright

Dreamweaver: He knows what he did.

From Atlus is localizing Persona-like Caligula

Dreamweaver: Funny… all my orgies usually have debuffs.

Itchy debuffs.

From Allison Road developer’s cancellation statement doesn’t really explain anything

Dreamweaver: If I wanted balls thrown at me, I’d go to a drag show in Vegas.

And that’s it for this edition! As always, be sure to comment down below which comments did you enjoy the most, or if there’s any comments you saw that you would’ve featured that I didn’t! You could also upvote it, but that’s just lazy, man.