Cause I wrote it ten times or more
Hello my little Palicoes. It is I, FakePlasticTree, once again here to bring you our weekly feature. Is it just me or has gaming news been rather slow lately? It’s hard to forget the first months of 2017, but a lot of those big releases back then were generally games that were delayed into said period. 2018 doesn’t have that luxury; so far it feels like that we are on a recess. But that’s fine, there are a lot of games from 2017 people still need to finish, and
Monster Hunter: World offers enough poor defenseless animals to slaughter. And I still miss my PS3.
Let’s have a look at what you’ve all been up to the past week!
(Update) Why does Australia hate boobs so much?
FakePlasticTree: Dollarydoos? That’s an odd name, I would have called them Chazzwazzers.
Konami unsure why Metal Gear Solid V’s ‘Nuclear Disarmament’ event triggered
FakePlasticTree: Liberal fake news media at it again. Sad!
FakePlasticTree: Konami unsure on how to finish this sentence.
A Beginner’s Guide to Monster Hunter: World
FakePlasticTree: Step 3, see a Diablos? Leg it.
Toad isn’t wearing a hat, Nintendo confirms
FakePlasticTree: Toad hasn’t been allowed on TV ever since he said the n-word.
Super Mario 3D Land, Zelda: A Link Between Worlds, and Ultimate NES Remix drop to $20
FakePlasticTree: Can’t let you Dew™ that, Dorito Pope.
Subnautica player inadvertently finds and eats another player’s beloved pets
Middle-earth: Shadow of War’s first major DLC is out today
FakePlasticTree: I like how the orc even looks like Mr. Burns, as if to say “Excellent.”
Angry Mob to release physical edition of Brawlout on Switch
FakePlasticTree: If there isn’t I’ll riot!
Upcoming PS4 update includes custom wallpapers, parental controls, and more
FakePlasticTree: Should have chosen, “Wisely,” as it can’t be, “Changed Later.”
Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 rumored for this year
FakePlasticTree: You jest now, but you’ll see – next they’ll bring two per year!
This week’s Year of the Dog event in Overwatch will bring a new map
FakePlasticTree: Considering the detail they always put into the “asses” on their female characters, I’d say they invite “quite a few.”
EVO 2018 Championship lineup revealed
FakePlasticTree: No featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry Series for this event.
BlazBlue: Cross Tag Battle adds RWBY’s Yang Xiao Long, Blake and Yang to be free DLC
FakePlasticTree: If you’re really, really good they might even throw you a bone next time.
Metal Gear Survive is getting a second beta on all platforms
FakePlasticTree: Indeed, I’ll prove it to you. Fuck Konami!
Tetsuya Nomura has changed Cloud’s design for the Final Fantasy VII Remake
FakePlasticTree: How do you do, fellow 1st Class SOLDIERs?
More evidence points to South Park: The Fractured but Whole coming to Switch
FakePlasticTree: I’d wager even a goat fence would be more effective.
Monsters, Inc. confirmed for Kingdom Hearts III
FakePlasticTree: You know you want it!
Take a listen to the Kingdom Hearts III theme songs
FakePlasticTree: They are going on a road trip to destroy Xehanort, naturally.
Capcom confirms layoffs at its Dead Rising studio
FakePlasticTree: It’s all fun and games, until you realize there’s people behind all of these games.
Reported Red Dead Redemption 2 leak points to Battle Royale, first-person mode and more
FakePlasticTree: Makes sense, too, as the creators of the TV series adaptation have gone on record to say they were inspired by said game’s world, and how its NPCs function.
It’s Black History Month so let’s talk about our favorite black video game characters
FakePlasticTree: I don’t always give KOTOR enough credit but Jolee is the exception to the rule. His anecdotes and stories aren’t as cryptic and Shakespearean as Kreia, and his wisdom comes from a life of truly as opposed to platitudes of the Jedi Code. Great character!
Rainbow Six Siege gets a free weekend during Six Invitational tournament
FakePlasticTree: That’s the kind of warning I want every game to give me when I venture into the multiplayer.
Dragon Ball FighterZ player makes tournament Top 8 with Rock Band keyboard
FakePlasticTree: Congratulations, the real MVP is you!
Quickpost by KnickKnackMyWack
FakePlasticTree: Stunning drawing of a great character by KnickKnack.
Quickpost by Marcel Hoang
FakePlasticTree: But when’s the Road to Platinum stream?
Quickpost by Dango
FakePlasticTree: That’s some serious dough!
Quickpost by Mike Sounders
FakePlasticTree: Not-Torchman finally became a real gamer.
Quickpost by Dante Kikade
FakePlasticTree: Is this a Bojack Horseman reference? Cause I really want it to be!
And that’s it for this week! Check out the next entry, as it will be the debut of Dtoid’s own Guerilla Ocelot who finally gets his time to shine! Looking forward to it!
Stay safe everyone!