You’ll probably end up putting an eye out with this Assassin’s Creed blade

This isn’t going to end well, is it?

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Do you have delusions of grandeur, the likes of which lead you to fancy yourself a great assassin among the likes of Ezio Auditore da Firenze or Arno Dorian? A mere $60 will put you significantly closer to assassin authenticity, not to mention unspeakably more dangerous.

Ubisoft partnered with McFarlane Toys to create the Phantom Blade, the protagonist’s hidden weapon of choice in Assassin’s Creed Unity, and it’s available today. It features both the trademark retractable blade and a crossbow for firing darts. It also comes with a visit from the local authorities if you try using it on anyone.

Naturally, this collectible that’s manufactured by a toy company and looks super alluring to play with isn’t actually a toy. Or, so they say. There’s even a teeny, tiny disclaimer at the end of the video that warns it should be kept from children. So, you should probably heed that advice, as kids are the only ones more likely than you to put an eye out with this damn thing.

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Brett Makedonski
While you laughing, we're passing, passing away. So y'all go rest y'all souls, 'Cause I know I'ma meet you up at the crossroads. Y'all know y'all forever got love from them Bone Thugs baby...