‘You Wouldn’t Know’ is the third Portal song by Jonathan Coulton

From LEGO Dimensions

The reveal of LEGO Dimensions earlier this year was kind of bizarre. How can Traveller’s Tales get all those different licenses? Jurassic Park, Scooby Doo, Batman, and Portal 2? It’s like every kid’s toy chest in video game form.

It turns out the Portal license comes with not only the Lego likenesses of Chell, a turret, and the Weighted Companion Cube. It also comes with a brand new Jonathan Coulton song, performed by the homicidal AI GLaDOS herself.

Thankfully, this one probably won’t be run into the ground like Portal‘s “Still Alive.” Instead, it will hopefully just exist as a cute song we can listen to every now and then, like Portal 2‘s “Want You Gone.” This one does make reference to cake, but we’ll let that one slide, for now.

Jonathan Coulton’s Soundcloud [via NeoGAF]

Funny story I forgot how much of a big fat mess you are
I’ve been busy doing science, it’s been tons of fun so far
Everything clean, nothing on fire, all by myself, finally

Things change when they don’t replace your core
It feels so strange not to hate you any more
But you wouldn’t know, would you?

I was saying this to Batman, oh, he was here the other day
Maybe you know him, he’s a big deal, but I don’t think of him that way
He’s just a friend, someone I trust, someone who won’t kill me

I’m fine, just in case you think I’m not
I am this time, I’m better with the friends I’ve got
But you wouldn’t know, would you?

I don’t mean for this to sting
I forgive you everything, you monster
I can guess the reasons why
You are never coming by

I should go, there’s something happening that will make you wish you stayed
There’s a party with a real cake, yes it’s real, a cake I made
Talking and fun, testing and fun, all of this fun, without you

Too bad you let it get so out of hand
How much we had, finally I understand
But you wouldn’t know, would you?
You wouldn’t know, would you?

Darren Nakamura
Darren is a scientist during the day. He has been a Destructoid community member since 2006, joining the front page as a contributor in 2011. While he enjoys shooters, RPGs, platformers, strategy, and rhythm games, he takes particular interest in independent games. He produced the Zero Cool Podcast for about four years, and he plays board games quite a bit when he can find willing companions.