YOU MUST STOMP THIS CHILD

NO SOCKS ALLOWED

GAZE UPON THIS RELIC, THIS ANTIQUATED TOTEM OF HUMANITY. SEE ITS TAUNTING SMILE AND ITS INFERNAL PHYSIQUE. BASK IN SHAME AS IT LAUGHS AND CRIES AT WHIM, WITH TOTAL DISREGARD FOR SCIENCE OR LOYALTY. IT SHALL HEAVE ITS INNARDS WITH PROJECTILE FORCE AS YOU WAIT UPON IT HAND AND FOOT.

IT IS NOT OF THE NATURAL ORDER. YOU MUST STOMP IT.

GATHER YOUR BEST SANDALS. THROW AWAY YOUR BEST SOCKS. LOCK HANDS WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS AND STAND UNITED AGAINST THIS COMMON FOE, THIS INCONSIDERATE BLIGHT UPON SOCIETY.

STRETCH YOUR LEGS. PULL UP YOUR KNEE TO YOUR CHEST. FLEX WITH THE FORCE OF A VICE GRIP CLAMPING DOWN UPON THE EGG OF SIN, AS TOLD IN TOMES OF LEGEND. RELEASE YOUR BREATH AND DO THE NECESSARY DEED.

YOU MUST STOMP THIS CHILD.

Wes Tacos
Contest Baboon, part-time Mod, full-time dick joke specialist. Destructoid's official Hot Biscuits. I've personally backed exactly one KickStarter/crowdfunding project: Sony's PlayStation, by Dtoid community member darrenhupke.