Yoshi is trying to seduce me

I’m in love with dinosaurs again

Remember when I wrote that review and said I fucking hate dinosaurs? I take that statement back. I’m in love with Yoshi in Mario Party 10 — just look at the fuck-me eyes and seductive tail waggle he gives you when in third place on the results screen.

As a self-identifying dinosexual I can’t help but be really turned on by this. Seriously. Just think of the stuff he could do with that tongue. Mmmm. I’d like to saddle up that dino and go for a ride.

Jed Whitaker