Will that stop it from making hundreds of millions though?
If you thought the ingredient missing from video game adaptations was pedigree, this year is offering another suggestion: making a movie from a video game is stupid. Warcraft acquired an ace director in Duncan Jones (Moon, Source Code) and sucked anyways. Ubisoft spared us an Assassin’s Creed game this year, offered a film instead, stuffed it with Serious Movie Stars like Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons, and, surprise!, it still fucking sucked.
That’s because it’s a movie based off of the insanely stupid video game franchise Assassin’s Creed.
With 28 reviews in at time of writing, Assassin’s Creed‘s Rotten Tomatoes score is at 18% positive, or just above what Pixels ended up with (16%) after flirting with a 0% around its opening. The Assassin’s Creed Metacritic aggregate is 37. While it probably won’t hit the lows of absolute trash like Hitman: Agent 47 (8% positive), a movie so bad they didn’t even manage to shave Agent 47’s head all the way bald, it’s kind of more embarrassing to suck this hard with Fassbender and a god damn $130 million budget whereas Agent 47 starred a guy so embarrassed he was credited using a fake name (“Rupert Friend”?!).
Then again, as with Warcraft, which cost $160 million but raked in over $430 million at box office (mostly internationally), there’s really only one metric of success anyone involved in an Assassin’s Creed movie cares about. Let’s see if they make their money.