Yes, Nintendo, this Kong IS one hell of a guy

The Wii U port of Donkey Kong 64 says the swear

And let’s keep it that way. None of that “heck” monkey business. Or Donkey Kong Frappuccinos.

For those of you who haven’t yet downloaded DK 64 for Wii U, here’s the full rap for posterity:

I’m enjoying the game without all of that N64 slowdown, but I am having a hell of a time getting used to the camera controls. “What’s that, you want to pan left? How about first-person mode!”