Wii used to bribe children into being better people

Throughout the many eons that man has raised children one fact has been universally accepted by all those involved in the raising of said children: bribery will get you everywhere. It may not seem like the most ethical way, but it sure as hell is the quickest route to get a kid to do what you want them to do. Back in the day a parent would give their child a candy bar or a teacher would reward their good students with a special toy during recess or a treat during lunch, but this is the future, people, and the Wii is here, and it’s changing the game. As if the white box hadn’t infiltrated every other part of America’s life it now is being used by a Junior High School to motivate the students to learn and be better people.

Hook Junior High School has procured a Wii and is now using playtime with the console as a way to motivate children to do better at school. Every time a student improves on a test score or starts doing better in a class or is seen doing a random act of kindness they receive a ticket which can then be exchanged for some time in the “Wii room.” It’s unclear how it working as the article doesn’t say, but from the overall tone of the snippet it sounds like children are lining up to behave well thanks to the little system that could. I believe this means that the Wii helps the old, the infirmed and now our troubled youth. If it starts walking on water I call dibs on founding the Church of Wii.

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Matthew Razak
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