Why Sega stopped making consoles

Sega has come a long way from the golden days of booting up the Genesis and hearing the familiar singsong “SAY-GAH!” Whether that long journey has been up or down is a source of dispute among many gamers, but I think its safe to say the existance of this product is a strong vote for down.

Sega’s Hot Summer Toilet Roll comes in your choice of red, blue or black (I’m not sure how this matters since it will be covered by a roll of ass paper, but ok). When spun by an unsuspecting guest, it will produce shouting, loud noises and explosions. Whether the explosions are of the gastrointestinal variety is not specified.

Sega, Sega, Sega. From the legendary times of Altered Beast to talking toilet rolls? I don’t know what to say. Of course, the Japanese will buy it, so the gaijin opinion hardly matters. If you feel the burning need to preorder, its all right here for you. Somehow I think Sonic sound effects every time you grabbed for the roll would have been funnier, though.

Colette Bennett