White Knight Story proves the old adage “tiny nut-head platypi are dumb jerks”

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The above is the latest bit of media straight from the wacky shores of Nippon showing off the PlayStation 3’s upcoming White Knight Story. The last clip I brought you was the ubiquitous masturbatory CG cut scene made famous by the Final Fantasy series, but this piece is actual in-game footage showing off some honest-to-Ifrit gameplay.

Of course, what exactly is being portrayed here is sort of up in the air. As far as I can tell, the main character of the tale is surveying a gorgeously rendered field of shrubs, grass and other such fieldworthy flora when he spies an adorable, anthropomorphized platypus wearing an oversized buckeye on his head. Of course, being a platypus — nature’s stupidest animal — he didn’t realize the nut would obscure his vision completely before fashioning his helmet, and filled with the sort of pride only a platypus might exhibit, he refuses to admit wearing the thing is a bad idea. Our hero, in an effort to redefine the term “hero” as “a total bastard”, takes advantage of the stupid, prideful mammal, murdering him in cold blood before he could ever bring his deadly spined claws to bear.

While White Knight Story looks amazing and could be the PS3’s first big system seller, is this the kind of lesson we want our children to learn? Expect Australia to say nein … for some reason.

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Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.